Leo and his Backpack

Leo needed a backpack. Not for his school books, he is too young for school. The dog whisperer said if your dog is still pulling on the leash when on walks, get a back pack. And oh man, what a difference a back pack makes. Its like a totally new dog on the walk.

As you can see Mr. Leo totally luvs his new back pack too. Note the pose. He wanted to make sure that if a model maybe needed, he wants everyone to know he is avaliable for future back pack modeling...

Week In Review.....

Another boring week has led me to not updating. Here are the few highlights if you would like to call them that of the past week:

Tuesday: jammed packed day at work full of facials and waxing. Oh, and Satan delivered flowers to my work for V Day. I think the daily beatings are starting to pay off!

Wednesday: Had lunch with my hairdresser. Went to Bed Bath and Beyond and purchased a balance ball, (whatever they are called, the kind you exercise on...) and a dog grooming mit. Oh yeah, and drank too much coffee.

Thursday: Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. Oh wait........hmmm, ......my new tae bo dvd's arrived in the mail.....like I said, nothing.......

Friday: Got my hair colored. AND got a new hair cut. Not to worry my hair is still long, just got bangs, or as the Brits call it Fringe. Will post photo once I get the art of fixing them correctly down. At the moment, they are just hanging in my eyes. Oh yeah, and a Hairstylist at work got arrested!!! But I fuckin' missed it as I was in my room waxing ass at the time. What the fuck? Why why do I miss all the interesting shit that goes down at work.

Saturday: Had to work. Oh and the owner of the salon has to tell me about Nick asking Jessica for alimony. Yeah, well she did make more than he did. And no pre nup what do expect? So the owner asks me if Satan and I have a prenup.....what? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa! no we don't. I am never getting a divorce. She looked at me and said, but you never know. To that I replyed: It's till death do we part.....and if that's the only way out for him,,,,, so be it......muhahahahahahahahahaha! She just looked at me in horror. I just love offending the masses.

In the Garden of Evil Delights

The weather has been so amazingly warm the last two weeks that my flowers are all starting to pop up! My daffodiles are all over my garden at the moment! But the weather is supposed to change starting tomorrow! Fuck!!! That means if it all goes back to cold and rain, all my spring flowers will drown!! This really sucks for my plum tree as last year all the blossoms came out early, and then this huge rain and wind storm happened. And no plums for Vampy or Satan last year....so this year it better not do it again.....

In other news....I have lost a total of 9 pounds since starting my ishape diet last month! woo hoo. However, being that I have been used to my lo carb diets from the past, this is what would have taken me 2 weeks to lose on those. But, I guess I am doing it the more "healthy" way which will keep it off for good. And I did make sure to write in my book of things to do this year, was to lose weight and keep it off.....not just lose. As I am good at being a loser. I just need to keep being a loser.

Year Of The Dog

Leo was so happy that his photo was chosen to be poster boy for year of the dog. So as the year of the dog is now upon us, here are some interesting facts regarding the year of the dog:

Dog is the eleventh animal in the chinese mythology. Dog was chosen by the Jade Emperor due to his loyal protective nature. The element of dog is Earth. This works in harmony with the element of metal but is overwhelmed by the element of wood. Color is yellow, the color that was reserved for the Chinese emperors. It stands for fame, achievement, and progress. In Yin/Yang the dog is both Yin and Yang. The dog's element is earth, which holds yin and yang in equal balance a combination associated with care and thought. The compass direction of dog is west-northwest. A direction associated with the close of autumn and with mid evening.

Leo just says woof.

Spirit, the Stoner.....

"I am sooo baked!"
Spirit is trying to impress his Auntie Mangey, in hopes she will come for a visit soon!

Oh yeah, puppy weigh in update:
Spirit: 85 pounds
Leo: 80 pounds....
both are 6 months old now.

What Am I Turning Into?????

So yesterday at work I realized I have become way to comfortable at my job. Case in point....I not only had it happen once yesterday, but serveral times, women coming up to me asking if there pubes were long enough for a bikini wax. And oh yes, they have no problem just dropping undies in front of me and showing me there twats. And I realized when the last person did this, I realized that I had no reaction......only that no they needed to grow another week before it could be done.

That is one reason I will not be doing brazilians. I don't need someone walking up to me and showing me not only there twat but their little brown eye too. Gross. Not going there. Ever.

Bite Me.

Life has been pretty dull around the coven here lately. Which I guess isn't too bad, considering this time last year I was frantically trying to get thru school, and deal with my evil boss. So dull is pretty good. However living a dull life has problems when it comes to trying to think of things to write about.

However, when conversing with hairdressers last week, about my non existent color in my wardrobe.....(yes, again, can't people just leave me the hell alone with my color choice...) I was told by one of the hairdressers, that at the christmas party she didn't even recognize me as I looked so different. (Meaning I actually fixed my hair instead of the usual pony tail she sees me in) She said "you clean up real nice." .................ok, what is that supposed to mean. I love being on the end of a backhanded compliment. And I told her this as well. She then of course proceeded to try and backpeddle herself out of what she said. Too late, blondie, you already said it. Deal with my reaction now. Then she proceeded to ask why I don't dress up like that all the time, and wear more makeup like I did that night.

Well, you see blondie, I work in a dark room for most of the day with steam coming at my face. Steam doesn't do well with hair and makeup. If I were staring at myself in a mirror all day such as yourself, I maybe up to fixing the old hair and makeup more. However, being pale is who I am. So deal with it.

The Devil Inside.....

Oh yeah, all I got is four words for ya: Satan Quit Smoking Today. And he was not very happy when he came home this evening. Luckily the doobage is not off the list, otherwise I think I would kill myself (or him, can you say mr. crabby pants has entered the building!!) . But good luck to my dear Satan, and hope this is the last time you will ever have to do this!

Other than that I have nothing. No, not a thing. My dog whispering skills are still at work, and I had a most excellent walk this morning with the pups.

Oh yeah, I was tagged for a list of things, so I guess I will do that. It is the five unusual/weird things about oneself, so here for your reading pleasure are mine. But I am sure most of you know these already, like mz. mangey cur can probably give you a list of 20, but thats for another day. So here we go kids:

1. I always have to tell people when they are leaving to "drive safely"......because when I haven't said this, strange vehicle things have happened to them. And I have been told when I have seen them again, it was because I didn't say, "drive safely!"

2. I tend to dream of things that end up happening. Good or bad, those dreams are there. Its kinda like having a preview of my week or month coming up.

3. I used to wish for bad things to happen to people if they had done me wrong, and it would happen! Only trouble with this is my Karma works rather fast, and I was hit with bad Karma coming back to me. So I have since aborted this evil way. Unless I am really pushed over the edge!!

4. I can pick up things with my toes. This may not be too unusual, but being that I hate feet, its Ironic that I can do this.

5. I tend to dance or do ballet type poses all the time without knowing I am doing it, until someone points it out. Like Mangey's Rantboy, he always found this rather amusing, and still does when he sees me. What can I say, I got the music in me!!

Ok how fascinatingly dull and boring was that! Ok, so now I have the evil pleasure of passing this on to 5 other people. Take it or leave it, do it or don't. But either way you have been tagged:

Mangey Cur
Jen
Chicken
Pisser
Killy

Silence of the Walk.....

I have a new obsession. It is ishape, from shape magazine. I signed up for it, and they send me emails everyday with a menu and a workout schedule. I found out I really do have an obsession problem with stuff. I can't checking my email to see what ishape has sent me, what food I will eat for the next couple of days, what things I will be doing to exercise my fat ass. Its truly addicting. And I am real sad. As this is all the excitement I have in my life right now. However, I have lost 4 pounds on ishape. Another obsession, weighing myself every morning to see if another pound of pudge has moved along. I am a freakin nut case.

Lets see what other things have I been up to.............Got a book in the mail today on Tibetan Meditation. And I am listening to the CD it came with right now. And it is seriously sending me into a trance. Or am I sleep typing? hmmmm......I think I will have to bring this CD into work and play it for my clients....As I do believe this would seriously send them into a dream state.

oh yeah, another obsession, Satan and I have found a new program to watch on TV.....The dog whisperer. We can't stop watching this dude and his way of controlling dogs. It is really amazing. We have now become obsessed with being dog whisperers ourselves. Their is only one problem with this. I am not the calm mannered person for this job. However, I tried not to talk to my dogs on their walk this morning. And this is what I found. 3 out 4 dogs prefer me to shut the hell up and walk! And who is the one who enjoys their mom talking incessantly to them......Well, my little boy Leo that's who! He just wasn't happy with the silence of the walk. Although Spirit, Willow, and the Precious so enjoyed their Silence of the walk, that they actually got to hear the birds chirping and not their mom squawking! And the three of them were so much more behaved than usual. So it wasn't them acting up all this time at all, they were just in their doggy way trying to tell me to shut the fuck up!..........

This Drools for You!

When first looking at this photo, Spirit looks o so sweet, but you will need to click on it to see the line of drool coming from his mouth all the way to the floor! You see he still hasn't learned to close his mouth after getting a drink of water, so now we are experiencing puddles everywhere in the house due to Spirits lack of mouth closure.

Whats worse is when you are sitting on the couch not noticing that he has gone for his daily drool, and he then proceeds to hop up on the couch right next to you, and the droolage gets drained all over you. Gross!

I think I will need to start wearing waders around the house just because of the excessive amounts of drool. either that or make him wear a bib, however I don't think that will help as he isn't drooling on himself.

Due notice in this photo of the unsuspecting precious, her ass is Spirits next drool target.

This also is his favorite party trick so far, so I am thinking of renting him out for showers, you know, baby showers, bridal showers, it will so bring a whole new meaning to the term shower!
(oh and by the way, he did piss all over Leo's dog bisket today, so he is also ready for those golden showers!)

Hammin' it For the Camera

Give us your best smile!! Leo likes to show some tongue with his smile where as Spirit just likes to give out cheesie smiles... Spirit also looks like a pig in this photo....odd. But so cute none the less! Boys.....what are ya gonna do with them????

Random Thoughts

As I have nothing that exciting to post about today, thought I would give you some random crap from over the weekend. Lets begin.....

Purchased new scales. Which I found out SUCKS as my old scales were 5 pounds off, in a good way.....now I have had to add 5 pounds on to my already expanding waist line...fuck!

Purchased step/mileage monitor. For walking the dogs. Got it out of the package to find the $3.98 piece of shit is broken. Had Satan fix it. Works fine now. It was the piece o' plastic that you attach to your clothing that broke. Figures. Anyway, used it today, and found out I walk 4.2 miles with four dogs. Not bad. Still makes the 5 pounds added to the scale still suck, as I thought I was doing good.....

Purchased Madonna's new CD. Finding out.....it sucks....next.....

Found out that I definitely need to keep bleach on hand at work. As my client on Friday had an "accident" of the menstration kind on my sheets. Gross. However, I did manage to get the stains out. Maybe I should add to my menu, if you are on the rag, please bring your own sheets....

Found out my ex boss (who I still hate), still hates me! Yeah! She has told the chicks who work in the education department that I am under "no circumstances" allowed free classes. Ha Bitch! Too bad the chicks in the education dept. like me better, as they said that they will not listen to her, and still give me classes for free! WAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Thats about it.....till next time......Party on Wayne........

Why Must You Be Such An Angry Young Vampyre?

Ok why do I look so pissed off? Is it because...........

1. I just had to pay all the fuckin bills......
2. I am not pissed off, this is my normal face, thanks.....
3.I am having to wear my glasses.
4. My eyesight sucks.
5.I didn't win the lottery.
6.Its only Wednesday and there are 2 more days left till the weekend.
7.Its cold. And I hate being cold.
8.I am not angry, I am pms'd! Don't you know the difference?????
9.I've got a fuckin Styx song stuck in my head.....
10.These glasses give me a headache.

oh yeah, happy new year. woo hoo.

Out With The Old.......

Wow, this is my last post for the year. What a trip. I keep forgetting it is New Years Eve today. Maybe cuz I am still not believing that this year is over. Wow how time flies, and not necessarily all when you are having fun. It just flies. Someone said to me the other day it is a sure sign that you are older when time flies, as when you are a kid time feels like it never moves.

How true is that. And how sad. True that time did stand still when I was younger, and how sad that I am old...er.

So what are the things that I will remember about this year? Lets see.......I graduated esthetics school, passed the state board, started my own business........got two adorable boys who are both now bigger than their sis, Willow (and they are only 5 months old..).........

other excitement of 2005: got to see my first Giants baseball game at SBC park for Satan and my anniversary, saw Lestat the musical (woo Hoo!), went to Vegas, and didn't gamble at all (now that is a 1st!) as I was too busy shopping for work stuffs.....got to quit working for The Man, attended my last EVEAH corporate sales meeting!!!!!....

things I wish I could of done: exercised more, read more books, took a vacation to England, changed my eating habits, gone climbing, seen mangey cur......

Things I will do in 2006: Exercise more, read more, take a vacation to England, finally change my eating habit and stick to it, see Mangey Cur, watch my buzinezz really take off and have at least 60 repeat clients a month!! save money! get a new car!

Ok, I think I just wrote my resolutions.....

Happy New Year to all my beautiful creatures of the night! And to all of you lovely day creatures too!!!

Alright all you sinners......Swing!!!!!

Alright everyone, from my latest stats it looks like I have pervs browsing thru my blog.

Here are the top 5 ways pervs have gotten to my site:

1. Thong and how to wear them

2. Nails ripped off

3. Grannie Panties

4. Grannie Ass (ok this is just way to gross....)

5. Whats Under her skirt

The other 5 were non pervie:

6. Vampyre

7. Lestat Musical Merchandise

8. Dogs D' Mour

9. Faux Hawk photos

10. Marilyn Manson

So to all you pervs out there who are perusing the vampyre lair, hello, how are ya, sorry to have dissappointed you with your search for granny ass, I maybe old, but not that old...........

The Bible Thumper, the Grinch, and the Looking Glass...................

By the looks of people today, I noticed the christmas spirit has gone far far away. Either that or the Grinch must of hung out with alot o peeps this year.

First off my bible thumping neighbor. I am on my 2nd dog walk of the day when I see her with her evil spawn in toe pulling in the trash cans (oh yes, she is about 4 months prego with 2nd evil spawn on the way) her dog comes running over to the fence to say hi to me and Leo, and their new puppy is dancing around by her feet. When I first saw her, I think she was trying not to make eye contact. Which is fine by me. However, because her dog came over to fence to say hi to Leo...her plan was foiled. So she is calling her dog to come over and has to look up at me....."oh, hi vampy. Did you have a good christmas?" " why yes I did thanks...... was yours good?" ( yes I am trying to be nice....) "mmmm hmmmm" (she says in the most annoyed response ever) and then she proceeds to pull dog away from fence and walk back towards her house......

Ok, whatevah......Satan says she was probably having one of those preggo moments where everything is shot to hell....hubby at work and she is having to deal with dog, puppy, evil spawn, and evil spawn on the way, as well as bring in garbage cans......

However do I feel sorry for her....uh no. She is the one who wanted more evil spawn, and a new puppy......

Next at the grocery store ( I always seem to have a merry time there) and nothing but bitter old people shopping......as well as that stupid fat white trash chick and her million and one kids I seemed to always run into........and the checker was a miserable old fuck as well.

Oh yeah, and the first signs of me getting old.....ok, maybe the second....as the first is the grey hairs on my head ( but I can cover those up with hair color).....I had to buy my first pair of reading glasses today. Yes GLASSES! Now for those of you who have had to wear glasses practically all your life, you probably think this is no biggie. However, I was always the one with the superior eye sight. The eye doctors were always amazed how great my eyesight was and would make me do all these impossible tests just to see how well I could see. I was better than 20/20 vision in fact. However, today I am not. And to make matters worse staring back at me through the mirror as I tried on Safeway reading glasses was none other than my mother. Just keep me away from the red lipstick and Neil Diamond music or the transformation will be complete......I will post photos of sad girl wearing reading glasses shortly.........

Vampyre Express

stolen from american express ad.......

My Name: VampyreGirl

Childhood Ambition: to dance on Broadway......

Fondest Memory: the night I became a Vampyre

Soundtrack: The Crow......

Retreat: My coffin

Wildest Dream: To win the lottery....

Proudest Moment: Starting my own business

Biggest Challenge: Getting up in the morning

Alarm Clock: Leo and Spirit growling at each other

Perfect Day: sleeping in all day long!!

First Job: Aerobic Instructor

Indulgence: SHOES!!!!

Last Purchase: a necklace

Favorite Movie: Interview with the Vampire and Practical Magic

Inspiration: my mum

My Life: could be better, could be worse, can't complain......

My Card: Vampyre Express

Happy Birthday To Me.........!!!!

Happy Birthday to me.....Happy Birthday to me.....Happy Birthday dear meee.....Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Went and saw Lestat last night. It was really good. Would I go again? Yes. Yes, I would.
Was the audience what I expected.....uh.....no.... Middle age, and balding. Satan said it was probably the draw of Elton John.

The musical stuck to the story line pretty well, didn't do the whole book, as I would probably still be there as it was 3 hours long. The dude that played Lestat was pretty good. I liked him better than Tom Cruise...although Liz liked Tom Cruise better, but she hasn't read the book, and the Musical dude was more like Lestat from the book. Not Tomstat.

The chick who played Gabrielle (Lestat's mom) was really good, she had a killer voice too, made me wish I could break into song like that....well I could, but I don't think I would be getting the audience nearly standing and clapping after each of my numbers though......

I was most disappointed by the merchandise though. Barely anything. I did get a Lestat tank top. But that is all they had.

Ok, must get ready to go now, Satan is taking me to see Harry Potter this afternoon. Vampires, witches and wizards....can this birthday get any better????

Big Eyes......I Keep Falling For Those......

Just because I haven't posted a photo of Darlink Marilyn in awhile, thought this was a good one.
He got married at the beginning of the month. If it had been my teenage youth, I would be very upset right now.

You see, I had a major major crush on Robin Zander of Cheap Trick when I was 13. Needless to say he got married when I was I think in 7th grade. And I was crushed, heartbroken. I think this was the first time my heart was broken. Yes, as a matter of fact it was.....how I would stare at my Cheap Trick posters on my wall every night, wondering how he could of done this to me!!!! Didn't he realize I was the one he should of waited for and married!!!!!!!! I want you to want me Robin Zander!! Damn you Robin Zander!! Damn you!!!!!!!

Fast forward many years later when I came face to face with Robin at the Stone in San Francisco.....yeah, you see me now Mr. Zander and you are seeing what you missed out on.....mmmm hmmmmm..........you should of waited....you should of waited......silly boy.......


Anyway, in looking at the photo of Marilyn, maybe I should try a fauxhawk for the Lestat Musical? uh, no........doesn't really work for people with large heads.......

And Now For the Wardrobe....

What to Wear to The Theater Des Vampyres?
So I do know what I will be wearing on my feet. My bitchin boots.....they are way too cool to sit at home for a night of vamp-ing at its best. But that means, I need to wear a skirt to get the total shock and awe of the boots....but can I fit into the skirt I used to wear with these boots....hmmmmm.......Houston, we may have a problem.....................

Ok, lets forget about my ever expanding waist line for a moment, and go to the top, should my hair be curly or straight for a night of vampyres? You have all seen my hair curly or straight, yes? Hmm...I am thinking Curly....as straight these days makes me look old....and who wants to be seen with an old vampyre...................................dilemmas, people, I have dilemmas!

You think this is bad, you should of seen me getting ready to go somewhere BEFORE I was married! Mangey knows the agony of it all............................................................