Oh yes, it was a joyful time in the grocery store today......AGAIN.
NO, not the usual screaming hideous child on isle three, or four, or five....but instead it was the christmas haters that were on a rampage at my local Safeway.
For a change, I think I was the most joyful person there. And you know that is a STRETCH!
First of all in the parking lot, a woman decides to leave her door open and block two parking spots with her incredibly large ass hanging out of car as she rummages around her car for god knows what......yeah, thanks for not letting me have that prime parking spot sweetness, as you needed it to park your ass in it!
Lets see, I lost count of how many times I got rammed up the ass (and not in a good way) by shopping carts ( is there a good way to get rammed up the ass by a shopping cart??) , and then there was the people that block the isles. Oh yeah, its my fault your blocking the isle isn't it? what eveah! Stop scowling at me......
I was for a few measly seconds alone in the dead carcus section of the store, filling up my bloodlust, when I was interupted by cranky old bitches pushing my cart out of the way as I was blocking the dead chickens wrapped in plastic. oh yeah, I did get a glare for that too.
But the best was as I was checking out. No baggers to be found so I am bagging my own stuff and I look up to see fat evil chick**** from hell with fat evil daughter in tow....ramming her cart (again, the ramming of the cart! Knock it off you fuckers!) up to the little platform where you pay for your shit....uh, fat bitch, do you think I am a bagger? And you think I am bagging your shit? I SO don't think so!
So the checker says to fatty, uh, excuse me, but she isn't finished checking out, you will need to back your cart up ma'am. And of course fatty decides to glare at me! what the fuck?
So she backs up only to where I have just enough room to squeeze between the cart and the area where you can put your checkbook on to write the check. So of course I decided to write my check the slowest I have ever written anything in my life, and proceeded to have a conversation with the checker about the shrimp I had just purchased. (usually I don't chat as I am not a chatty type o' chick, but today I felt like pissing off fatty, so I chatted!)
So ended yet another fabulously fun filled shopping at the grocery store, the week before christmas......note to self....do not go anywhere near there next weekend. Unless you feel a real bloodlust coming on.........
And with that my dear friends, have yourselves a merry little christmas if I don't get back here to post before the festive day!
**** oh yeah, and I did use the word fat chick.....as I feel being 300 plus pounds entitles you to have the title of being called one!.