Monday, May 30, 2005

The Brownie Incident, Episode II

Is it the Thai food before the brownies that makes Liz' men have problems, or is it the brownies themselves, or is it the evil that lurks here at the coven........we all know what happened to english boy back at christmas on the brownies.......halucinations, out of body experiences, etc.. etc.....flash forward now to Friday May 27th, Liz' brings her new man up for Team Satan to inspect......we meet Liz and Man at Thai resturant, (don't know if new man ordered the same as english boy...hmmmm) things are fine......

Later on at the coven, the brownies come out.....I had only a very small piece this time, as I didn't want the munchies coming to get me, as I am on my billy diet (and the last time I had brownies, a whole box of donuts went missing.......and came out my ass the next morning.....) but the small piece of brownie was enough to get the buzz on....Liz had a larger piece than normal, are you sure you want that big o' piece dear liz???? She then hands yet a larger piece to the New Man....he downs it in one gulp.....he's larger than english boy, he should be ok............

Satan and Liz' new man go out on the deck and talk shop for what seems to be hours, by this time, I am watching the tivo'd Giants game, and my buzz is going good, the game seems to be more magical than I have ever remembered base ball to be.....Liz is trippin.....she is pacing back and forth, keeps checking on the boys out the back who are stilll yapping about work stuff.....Liz is getting worse, she asks me to play the dice this baseball game is magic, and the controls I am holding in my hand just feels good I have to clutch it, it may run away....can't play Liz gets my new facial cart and brings it up to the couch, we will play dice damnit!! Just then, Satan comes in, oh you are playing dice, we will come in too!!

So Liz puts trolley back and goes back into kitchen with dice....I can't and will not get up off of couch, again it is me and the baseball game that matters right Satan and Liz' man comes in and they go into the kitchen.....the dice game gets started....I here through my purple haze that Liz can't add to save herself at the moment....and when I look into the kitchen I notice her man is missing.....hmmmm.... where is he.........when all of a sudden,

From the bathroom we all here "HUhhhhaaaaaaa", Huhhhhhaaaa", man is he retching up his insides or what???? Another brownie eater bites the dust, and another ones gone, and another ones gone, hey the brownies will get you too, another brownie eater bites the dust.....

So after again what seemed like forever, he is STILL in the bathroom, Liz is now freakin or is it the fact that another man has been affected by the brownie...she says to Satan, could you go and check on him.....Satan just does an evil grin, and walks far away from bathroom, Liz, he's your man, you check on him, I with a scared look of what she might find in bathroom Liz heads in........

And she says what she saw in there reminded her of the scene in the "Blair Witch" where the guy is turn toward the wall, only her man is sitting Indian style on the floor with head in hands....uh, are you ok......Liz gives him some water, more hurling explodes out of this man....Is he now puking up his intestines???? ......I am now in other room thinking, can someone O. D. on brownies??? Are we gonna have to take him to hospital?? Who is coharent enough to do this??

Again, what seemed like forever and a day, Liz finally gets her Man outta the bathroom and into their room.....we find a projectile vomit bucket for him just incase he needs to go again while in the bedroom......Liz comes back out, "well, I guess I will go to bed" she says, looking rather miffed as she was enjoying her buzz, and now she is having to play nurse maid.......

So the evening at the Coven comes to a close........and let this be a warning to all who enter the coven, if Satan and I don't drive you insane by the time you leave, our brownies will....MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Magic Man on Cob Mountain

Today I went to see my account in Lakeport...not that exciting...then it was on to an event I had planned in my other account in Middletown, (or shall we say Middle Earth.....) to get there you have to go over Cob Mountain.....

It was such a beautiful drive thru the mountain today......the sun was out, it was around 80 degrees, no one around, so I was haulin ass around curves, it was great...and of course when you are cruizing thru a mountain, you can only pick up odd radio channels...where do these channels come from......well the only one that would come in was an old 70's rock channel, which was actually pretty perfect for the drive, as the drive was reminding me of many o' winding mountain road trips I took in my childhood with siblings and the parental units.....

So, as I round the bend, Magic Man by Heart comes on......and wouldn't ya just know it, the view before me was just like from the back cover of Little Queen album By Heart.....minus the roaving band o' gypsies.....but everything else was the same was took me back to being in Mangey's room listening to the Little Queen album on her record player, staring at the back cover, wishing I was there, wishing I too could be that cool and wear such giggin clothes..... and wow, here I was 25 years later just about, in the same place....but without the gypsies and their giggin clothes......just me in my black car driving down the mountain......

Well, unfortuanately the song ended, and what was next but J. Geils' Love Stinks......yeah I remember that tune too, singing it at the top of my lungs in the shower, a meer 13 year I knew how loved stunk back then, but it felt like I did....however, that song now reminds me of one of the best parts of the Wedding Singer, when Adam Sandler is singing that at the wedding after he gets now that is funny....

But it was quite a ride I am tellin ya, the great old tunes, spring still in the air, no one around me, could it be that this vampster was having a *gasp* happy moment......don't worry friends, it didn't last long, as the smack up side the head of reality was just waiting for me down the other side of the mountain....the real stinker of the day WORK!......Work stinks yeah yeah!! Work STinks! Yeah Yeah!!

Monday, May 23, 2005

My Wardrobe This Week: A Yellow Caution Sign with the Yellow Caution Tape as Fashion Accessory.....

Lets see, what has been happening these last couple o'days...hmmmm......

started new diet and exercise regime thanks to mr. billy blanks and tae bo....hey, I don't have those personal trainer perks that Mangey has, so I have to buy me some billy to do the trick...he has a website where they give you a 7 day diet plan and a video tae bo schedule to stick too...well its day 2 of the diet, day three of the exercise, am I any thinner yet? The diet is basically a low carb one, except just alot of veggies...ALOT of, I am not used to eating this much veggies, or cooking for that matter......

Actually spoke to liz....yeah, wedded bliss sucks.....she is too DAMN HAPPY!!! But she will be up here this weekend, and then we will see how sweet she is by the time she leaves, heh heh heh.....

Started back to work today..IT SUCKS!!!!!! I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!! ok, enough about that subject....

Listed my fictitious business license with one of the local papers more step closer to my new life.......

Beware : Flaming PMS week ahead.......This IS your only warning............

TO THE STATE BOARD: WHERE THE FUCK IS MY STATE BOARD DATE???????? I am going insane hunting down the mail each day, the build up of the antisipation, will the letter be in the mail box, will it be there, oh please oh please.....checking the mail.....FUCK!!!!!!!! NO FUCKING LETTER!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (I am seen kicking mailbox and neighbor's mail box, and starting to run with hands in the air crazily after mail truck, as Satan has to come and put on my straight jacket and guide me back down the driveway....)

Oh yeah, life is good, could it be that I have eaten too many vegetable in a 24 hour period and I am losing it????????????????????????????????

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Boring Update.....

So it is Saturday morning....and the sun is finally out....Satan is busy mowing the grass in the back yard (not that kinda grass mangey!), I have already exercised my fat ass with my new Tae Bo dvd I purchased the other day.....

So nothing new to date for state board....last weekend before I have to go back to work and deal with the evil one again....

did construction at my shop (wow, I can say "shop"!! hee hee how exciting) yesterday, the ugly mirrors have come down, purchased paint, so will be painting next week, once my room gets to the cool looking stage I will post photos for you all to see....still working on a name, although had to get ficticious business license the other day, so put down Comfortzone as the name, but Willow Moon Skin Care is coming in a real close second...will have to get business cards and brochures together soon.....

Tried to steal Jens Star Wars stuff off of her blog, but my st0opid blog wouldn't take it...figures...I suck at stealing things....

Ok, times up, I am off to plant my veggies in the garden now.....

Thursday, May 19, 2005

What's In A Name.....

Ok so here are some names I have come up with.....let me know what you like, Satan didn't like any of them...but thats because he is Evil....simply evil.....

And the nominees are:

Ivy Moon Skin care
Willow Moon SkinCare (and no this is not after my dog as Satan thought)
Enchanted Skin
Skin Magic
Comfort Zone

Why is this so fuckin hard to come up with a least the sun is starting to come out today......

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Too Much Time On My Hands.......

Here it is the second day of my vacation...and its RAINING!!!! What the fuck?? It is May 17th for gods sake? In almost a month it will be summer...and I will have missed spring completely!!

Ok, so what have I done on my spring vacation so far? Yesterday I was out in the garden between showers trimming the roses, as they have developed black spot AGAIN on their leaves...the only way to get rid of it is to destroy all leaves containing the black spot, even the dead leaves in the dirt....while pruining back roses I got slashed at least 3 times by I look like I have been in a fight with a cat.....I also studied yesterday for my state board exam, which at this moment if it is all anatomy and physiology, I will FAIL miserably........I took a midday nap, which was glorious, absolutely glorious!!!

Today Satan is home as he is taking two days off being he worked this past weekend at the Napa home and garden we slept in till 9am, had coffee and tea out on our deck in the morning, went to Wally World to purchase fish food for the Koi in the pond, where Satan decided he needed to purchase two more maple trees, just because they were there, came back home and made lunch, tried to study some more, where again I feel like an anatomy idiot as nothing is sticking in my head........Satan is now watching his tivo'd selections on the tv, I watched my soap (Days of Our Lives) in real time, and am now blogging......I would really like the weather to turn into Spring as this sucks looking out the window seeing February skies, when it is Mid May!!!! Oh yeah, and we had a popcorn explosion in the microwave....Satan likes the carmel coated popcorn, so when it was on its melting the carmel stage, the fuckin' bag decides to do a header on its side, (where am I, but bitchin' to Satan about how I hate to study) and by the time the microwave goes beep, we now have popcorn everywhere in the microwave and carmel dripping off of all the sides! Fuck, now the microwave needs cleaning out!! And I still don't have a name for my keep the names coming people, I need some sort of inspiration!!!!!

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Whats My Name Again.....

Here it is Sunday Morning and I have actually checked out everyone's blog this morning. I haven't done that in ages. It was quite fun....

Satan is working this weekend at the Napa home and Garden expo showing off his limestone fireplaces. He should be getting some good contacts that will bring us lots and lots of dosh!

I checked my bank account yesterday and it seems the State Board has finally cashed my check for my pre app for the test! YIPPPEEEE!!! This means this week I should be getting a letter from them letting me know when my test will be!!!! I had a dream last night that I got my letter and it said my test was May 17th! I was rather freaked out by it as that date is two days away and I haven't studied a damn thing since I graduated I guess I better start studying my date could be soon, and I need to ace it as I have an actual place o' business to go to once I have passed!

Speaking o' business....I am trying to come up with a name for my place....I had a name, but no one seemed to like it...they thought it was kinda creepy.....but that's the type o' chick I am....creeepy.....anyway, I was gonna call it Skin Addiction....but they thought that Addiction was bad as it congered up images of drug addiction, alcohol addiction.....but not all addictions are bad I tried to tell them, but they all nixed my now I am trying to come up with if any of you have any ideas for a name I would greatly appreciate it...and yeah, I have already gone through the list of Vampys back crack and Sack wax sorry, I've nixed that idea too...but any REAL names you would like to supply that would be bitchin!

And one more thing before I leave you all to go and do my weekly grocery fest, when is Spring gonna get keeps raining every other fuckin' day....I am sick of it!!

Thursday, May 12, 2005

I Need A Remedy, For What Is Ailing Me....

Is there a strange hive like sickness going around? I know older sis had weird hive thing happen to her the other week, my nephew (yes, I am acknowledging and evil spawn) had weird hives the same time as older of my accounts had weird hives on legs and upper chest the other week, my esthetician has weird hive like things on her legs and on her stomach....And now I have them on my lower legs and backs of my arms....MOTHER FUCKER do they itch!! Thank god I am not a skirt wearing kind o' vampyre as my legs have been scratched so much by myself that I have drawn blood....mmmm, blood.....

Anyways, at first I thought it was this lavender scrub I bought at the Vegas expo, as it started around the time I started using I stopped using went away for a bit, but then thought it was the new body lotion I was using as it is on my lower legs and elbows where I usually apply thicker moisturizer....FUCK, will the itching ever end?? Its even worse than a Yeast infection, and those my dear friends are pure torture for all my sistas out there who understand that haynus itch....

So I have been slathering myself with all the moisturizers for sensitive skin trying to stop this itch....I popped a couple of benadryl to see if that would work....and I slathered on an oatmeal mask on my legs and arms, that helped some....but I can feel the itch coming back........

Someone said it was due to stress...which would be understandable, as I just finished school, I am trying to figure out when to study for my state board test (which they haven't sent me a date yet, grrrr), I am trying to get my stuff ready for my new business, and work at the same time with my evil boss ( who I was with yesterday).....hmmmm maybe that is the cause of my strange itch.....anyone out there have any other remedies for this itching disease???????????

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Slow Week......

I have a new food obsession. It is sugar free chocolate pudding that you get in the cold isle of the grocery store...ok I just wrote sorcery store....what was that about?? Anyway....I think why I love this pudding so much is that it takes me back to when I was a little vampyre and my mum would give me pudding for a snack when it was just her and me at home when Mangey and older sis were at school....yes those were the days.....

And yes, Mangey, I still have surpressed memories re: tower records bag. And for good reason. Don't even start with the pencil, or I will have to hurt you, and not in a good way.

Had to be with my boss all day today. Oh my god, was it the longest day in hell.

In more related strange animal sightings, the Heron has now decided to come back to our garden and try to eat the fish. It has been turning up just for Satan to see, but today it came around for me twice. Hmmm...............

That is about all the news for now...its been a slow week here at the it Friday yet? Think I will go and eat some more pudding..........................

Sunday, May 08, 2005

I am such an Ass and A Boar!

I am taking a break at the moment from my micro managing report that is due tomorrow. Yes, I am working on my day off. It is due at 9am tomorrow. Am I going to get up at the ass crack of dawn to do it....uh, no. So tonight it is.

What really sucks is that I am reporting on what I did last week. well, if it were a true report, I would put down that I was in school finishing. But no, I am here lying my ass off trying to come up with things I didn't do. Hmm, maybe this is the week I give notice. I am so over this job.

I have a meeting tomorrow with the salon that wants to take me on board with them. If all goes well, I will have a new place of buinezz by tomorrow! I just need State Board to give me a friggen date so that I can take my test!

In other non related news we had an influx of caterpillars on our two willow trees today. Satan filled nearly 1/2 a bucket full of them. They must of had some serious caterpillar munchies as they were chowing down on the leaves! In looking in my "Animal Wise" book of animal totems, it says that caterpillar represent new birth and new foundations. They are a symbol of good luck in the early stages of new endeavors. They also hearld a time of good news, new birth, and creative inspiration, signalling a time to get ready to start a new project or initiate a new endeavor. I guess this goes in line with the wild boars I saw on my way home Friday night, which mean be true to yourself, and own who you are, and also the donkeys that I keep seeing, which is a sign that a promise of awakening wisdown and the approach of new opportunities of greater work. Don't be stubborn and refuse to move with the flow. In other words, don't be such an Ass!

Friday, May 06, 2005

School's Out for EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wooo HOOOoooooOO!

I finished school!! My 600 hours was completed yesterday a 5pm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I just have to wait to take the state board test so I can get my license, and then its later daze corporate world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was absolutely grand sleeping in this morning, not walking the dogs in the dark, and actually going on a real dog walk (45 min unlike the 10 min. walk for the last 7 months) and I also exercised my ass when I got home from the walk!!

Nothing like sitting on your ass in class for seven months that you start to see the pounds creep sucks, it sucks, it really really now I have to get back to the weight I was before I started school. Hopefully it will be easy....I will just have to get Satan and I back in the climbing gym as that really dropped the poundage on me!

So my graduation ceremony has been changed as it was going to be the friday of Memorial day, but most people would not be able to make it, so they changed it to the first friday in June. So hope that works out for Liz, Jen and Mangey! And anyone else who would like to come out for a weekend of frivolous fun and loaded brownie eating!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

It's Getting Hot In Here.....

What can I say, its nice and warm down here in the 8th level of Hell, and I am closer to Satan this way!

(and see Jen, I do read your blog, remember, I like to lurk!) this Quiz stolen from Jens!

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

Take the Dante's" Inferno Test

Monday, May 02, 2005


Maniac killer

What else could I be but a Maniac Killer, seen as how the hell test sent me to level 8!

You are a maniac

It doesn't matter who they are and what they
have or haven't done. You still want to kill
them. And for a simple reason only; it's fun.
Seeing people in pain is like ecstasy. Maybe
you have some sort of mental problems or you
are this way because of previous deep scars,
only you know. But now you are sadistic and
maybe you only like to see a special group of
people be in pain (e.g. preps). However you are
not the most social person in the bunch and
people think you are weird. That bothers you
somewhat but atleast you can entertain yourself
with daydreaming about killing them. After all,
they have no idea what's coming.

Main weapon: Explosives and torture
Quote: "Insanity: a perfect
rational adjustment to an insane world" -
R.D. Lang
Facial expression: Wicked smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by

Planes, Trains, and AutoWhores

Ok here is the run down of the Vegas two day fest....I am still recovering from it:

Got to Vegas on Friday night around 10pm. Met up with school buds at the Hilton. School Buds got waysted and started coming on to Satan. (that was amusing). Had one of my school buds tell me, " I had no idea your husband was a hunka hunka burning love. I expected him to be kinda chubby (oh, not in a bad way she says, yeah whatever), long black hair like you but also real spikey, real pale like you, with piercings all over his face (what do you think I married, pinhead?) and all in black like you, I had no idea you married such a fine man!"

Ok, so how do I respond to something like that? So I just said, yeah, you can't judge a book by its cover, just because I may look like death, doesn't mean my husband has to.

Anyway, the night was most amusing, as I was slightly buzzed, Satan doesn't drink heavily, as Satan + drinking = massive puking......anyway, Our friend Chris was normal drinking, but the rest of the crew (4 other chicks) were plowed.... didn't get back to our hotel till like 3am, and realized we had to be at the convention by 9:30....oh this isn't going to be good.....

Saturday: Call school buds to see how they are (it is about 8:30), school bud who thought Satan was hot has serious hang over and has been puking her guts out for the last hour. She is still going though, other school bud has eye pads on....but they will be ready....and they were, so we get to the Tax class at 9:30....hard to listen to numbers that early in the morning when you are hungover....then after class, hit the expo floor and went spending mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bought tons of stuff for my new buziness and didn't finish spending till 6pm when the doors closed for the day..

Saturday evening: met up with Satan and Chris who had been at red rocks all day and went out to the Venetion for dinner with school buds who were dressed up like they were looking to get some......ok whatever, I am dressed in my black comfort clothes, I feel like I am way underdressed, so does Satan and Chris...........had a good dinner, walked the strip for miles it seems, school buds complaining that their feet are hurting in their stilletos...(well what do expect?) Got to the Alladin and watched some bad club bad try and sing Santana, Britney, Delight, Tone Loke, and other bad 80's tunes for a while, then headed back to our hotel via the monorail (which you now have to pay for, used to be free), as again it was around 2:30am............................

Sunday: Rudely jarred from sleepage by the phone is school buds, saying they are ready for breakfast(as Satan had made plans the night before in the elevator, I was in bathroom...) it is 8am.....and one school bud has to be on a plane by 11am. SHIT!!!! So of course I am running around room throwing things together, in a real fowl mood as I am not happy in the morning when told I am to be up by now....throwing stuff on, washing face, brushing hair, yelling at Satan and Chris just because I can.....throw our stuff in our suitcases (as we won't be back to the hotel, as we need to check out too)....anyway, got ready in 20 minutes (a miracle) and made it for breakfast by you see I love breakfast, so I wasn't going to blow it off, otherwise I would, but breakfast rocks.......

After breakfast, SAtan and Chris went back to redrocks, me and other school bud went back to the convention and spent MORE bud left early as her mom was coming into walked around convention by self purchasing more I was so loaded down with stuff by the time Satan and Chris came to pick me up.......
Made it to the airport with plenty o' time to spare...........................................................Just to be told that we may not get on our flight because they have overbooked.....WTF?????
So we are standing around waiting and waiting, while everyone is boarding the plane, doors close and we are still standing there going come on dudes someone let us on....there are a few other people waiting to see if they could get on too....when ASSHOLE Fuckhead and his ASSHOLE wife come running up to catch the plane, and they are yelling at the flight chick, saying that they need to get on the plane, they purchased these tickets over a month ago. YOu need to get on that plane and take off the person you gave our seats too.....blah blah blah ......he was such a fuck head.....and the flight chick just stared at him told him he would have to wait, she couldn't help him as she was trying to help us, Ass hole wife is yelling at ASShole husband, Asshole husband is yelling at flight chick...flight chick turns her back on ass hole, and tells us, yes, there are three seats left and hands us our boarding pass.....we run by asshole and wife looking at them like HA HA!! And board plane.....

Got home about midnight.......very tired, with tons of stuff to find out where to put......