Tuesday, August 31, 2004

If You Go Chasing Rabbits...

Spoke with Mangey today regarding my current situation of soul searching. Her advice is always good. Even though she sometimes gives those bitter pills to swallow, the pill works, and I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

I opened up the book "Women Who Run With the Wolves" and let it find me a page. Interesting enough, I had put some cards in at the page it opened too....and what was the page it fell too...but the story of crescent moon bear. So here is a passage from the chapter that I thought how ironic....it is about rage:

"All emotion, even rage, carries knowledge, insight, what some call enlightenment. Our rage can, for a time, become teacher...a thing not to be rid of so fast, but rather something to climb the mountain for, something to personify via various images in order to learn from, deal with internally, then shape into something useful in the world as a result, or else let it go back down to dust. In a cohesive life, rage is not a stand-alone item. It is a substance waiting for our transformative efforts. The cycle of rage is like any other cycle: it rises, falls,dies, and is released as new energy. Attention to the matter of rage begins the process of transformation. Allowing oneself to be taught by one's rage, therby transforming it, disperses it. Ones energy returns to use in other areas especially the area of creativity. "

So down the rabbit hole I go, and it is dark, and damp and smelly...Here is my one and only match I strike...And I see the mountain looming up ahead....Its gonna be a long and raging climb.........

Shock the Monkey

I have put together a photo blog, for your viewing pleasure...hope it amuses you all...

In other news..I did yoga this morning...totally kicked my ass. Can I just say I HATE table pose, I think it has something to do with the fact that I have weak wrists, as that is the most painful part of the pose. But after yoga I do feel better. I have been having those I just want to run run run away feelings again. My job is making me want to lose my mind I think. I think as it is mind numbiling boring I don't want to do it. And having to keep my boss at bay is getting tiresome...so I actually went on Monster yesterday, and started thinking...what the fuck am I doing. I don't want another boring pathetic job. I already have one, thanks.

So I had a talk with Satan last night about my current situation with work, and he understands...although I think it makes him nervous when I talk about just saying fuck it all to hell and quit, as he is not a turn on wim type person, so he thinks that I will actually do what I say before thinking it through...no I am just frustrated with work.... whats new....

It is hard to put into words how I feel about my situation...its like I know what I need to do, but I am stuck, or I would rather sulk in my misery and not do anything, and the frustration builds up inside of me. I have been getting "signs" of the universe smacking me upside the head recently, and I need to stop taking the blows and do something with my life.

I spoke with the woman who is starting up her own spa again yesterday, and she said she had been thinking about me alot, and totally said that I should open my own business, as I would be "awesome" (that was her word) . So with this woman who barely knows me can see the potential in me that I can't see, what the fuck is wrong with me...I really think because mum is gone, I don't have that outlet to talk to someone who will just listen (no offense mangey our conversations really help, but you know how mum was a great listener) and let me work out what is going on inside my head. It is not so much a new job I am looking for, I think I just need to find out what I want to do with my life and start doing it. My life is not about the job I do, and that is what I have come to the realization of, and that is what is driving me crazy at the moment, as I don't know where to go and I am stuck.

I think the monkey is fucking with me again (it is the year of the monkey) and I just need to get through this year, either that or I am having a mid life crisis but I thought I had to be older for that....unless I will pop my clogs in my 60's...then I am right on track for this little break down....

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Curiosa Whores

Liz and I on our way to the Cure show. Posted by Hello

Bitchin' Boots

It is official...these are the coolest boots ever to be looked upon by the human eye. I bought these boots in London, when Satan and I were there in April. Tonight, was the first official public debut of them at the Cure show. And can I tell you, people just couldn't take their eyes off the captivating boots! Posted by Hello

Friday, August 27, 2004

Beware: The Granny Panty Theif

Before I leave for the weekend, thought I would tell the story of the granny panty theif.

Lately, I have noticed that my comfortable underwear are starting to dissappear..they are not granny panties, they are normal comfortable Victoria Secret undies. However, Satan says they are granny panties, as they cover my whole ass, unlike the thong undies that I also have.

Satan of course likes me to wear the thong undies, all the time, however, I do find them uncomfortable if I wear them all day. I usually only wear them during the day, hence for not having any unslightly panty lines when I am at work..in fear that Trinny and Suzanah (what not to wear, bbcamerica) are gonna jump out at me somewhere and point out that my "granny Panties" make me look like I have 2 extra ass cheeks.

So before going to bed, I change into comfortable undies....why do I wear undies to bed do you ask? Well if I don't, Satan thinks it is an automatic invitation from me to be pinched, pulled, proded, etc., etc... and yes, I do enjoy those things, but not every single night!! So if I wear the "granny panties" it is obviously not such a turn on for Satan, and I can actually get some sleep.

However, lately I have noticed him going out to do the laundry a little more lately..and I haven't really put two and two together, just thought he was being ever so nice and actually doing some chores...but since his laundry days, I have noticed I am slowly losing my "granny panties". and the only ones coming back are the thongs......

So, today, I am searching and searching for my comfy undies to pack for my trip this weekend, and can't find any in my drawer....so I say to Satan, are you stealing my granny panties and throwing them away?? Usually when I accuse him of stealing my socks (as I usually get back a sock when I have put two in the wash), he says, why the fuck would I take your socks when I have oodles of my own..(he really does, I have never seen someone with so many socks before) but this time, he just let out a low evil chuckle....and had this evil grin on his face!! Damn it man! I knew there was something going on with my undies!!

Well foolish Satan, doesn't realize stealing ones undies and throwing them out only means that this weekend is an open invitation for me to go out and spend spend spend money on new comfy undies!!!! Satan, you maybe crafty and oh so evil, but you mess with my undies man, and you will pay (literally) pay for new ones!!

Thursday, August 26, 2004

...Lets hit Opening Time Down on Fascination Street

This week has been taking forever to end...Either that or I actually worked this week and it felt long...Oh right, that maybe it...

Looking forward to having a girls weekend!! Satan is always going away for his boy climbing weekends, while I get left with the kids...So now its his turn!!! Although, he will be keeping tabs on ghostie...She is doing better today, thanks to the drugs the vet has given her..(don't like the drugs but the drugs like me!)

Anyway, leaving tomorrow to go down to Liz'..Stopping off at Hil's house to meet up to go to our Ghost Tour..Hope we can see some ghosts, or hear creepy stories, like the one we heard in Salem..That one still creeps me out..
Then on Saturday Liz and I get to go see the Cure!! That should be fun! Last time I saw them was many many moons ago, when I went with Mangey and we saw them on the 4th of July..It was pretty cool, fireworks were going off, someone's house caught on fire......boys walking around with their lunch boxes..Robert Smith feeling blue on stage...It was great!!

Mangey and I used to go to sooo many shows back then...I rarely go out anywhere now. It was great going to shows with Mangey, back then she worked for a newspaper and was also a freelance photographer, so she was always getting press passes and backstage passes......Mangey, you need to blog about some of your wild and crazy backstage days...

One of the last times the Cure were in town, they were here for a record signing thing...And I was working for a different company back then, anyway, my boss was in town ( she lived in New York) we had just had dinner, and we were at her hotel having drinks at the bar....When what do my wondering eyes see...But the Cure sitting over in the corner, while Robert strums on a guitar!! It was pretty surreal, as no one was paying attention to them.. My boss asked who they were (as they were all in black, she assumed I would know who they were) she had no clue. If it had been back in the day of crazy times with Mangey Cur, I probably would have gone over to them...And who knows what mayhem would of happened...But no, I just sat back and watched...Drinking my tequila sunrise.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004


We have to take Ghostie to the vet today. Yesterday we came home and discovered her limping around on her back leg. She was fine when we left her yesterday. So we are thinking maybe she fell off the deck or slid on the hardwood floor while we were gone. I am nervous. I always get nervous to take Ghost into the vet since her gravel eating experience.

When we lived at our old house we had the dog food in the garage, and I put some cod liver oil that was for the precious girl in there as well next to the dog food. Well Ghost is always getting into shit that she shouldn't..(peanut containers, my lipstick, chocolate wrappers..etc. etc) so one day she is out roving around in the backyard and we left the door in the garage open so the dogs could go in there if it got to hot outside..Anyway, Ghost found the oil, and took it out back. She managed to open up the bottle and proceeded to dump out the oil onto the white gravel we had in the backyard (it was actually chips of stone that was crushed down from a fireplace), anyway while she is lapping up the oil, she is injesting gravel..Well she got sick..Really really sick, so much so that she could barely stand up, and when she did she looked like she was drunk..

We take her to the vet, thinking that its just the oil she has gotten sick on, until the vet comes out and tells us that she may not make it as she has about a pound of gravel in her stomach, and doesn't know how well she will pass it through her system. So they kept her overnight to watch her, and every hour they took X-rays of her stomach to see if the gravel was passing. Luckily she made it..But ever since then, I am always scared to take her to the vet...

So Satan is coming home early to take her in, as she is too heavy for me to lift, and she doesn't like the linoleum floors of the vets office anyway, and refuses to walk on the floor, and the last time I was there with her for a check up, me and the vet tech had to carry her through to the exam room like she was the queen or something. Not going to do that again..So it is Satan's job to do today...I probably will go with them, but will be so nervous, I keep saying it is just her leg...She will be ok,,,but the nervous mother in me, thinks that my baby is dying..I will update as soon as I learn what is wrong with her...

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Wastin' Away Again in Margaritaville

Had a Blackberry Margarita today at Chevys...It was damn tasty..I met up with my coworker today for the real deal, as yesterday we had diet coke with our chips and salsa, so today it was margaritas with chips and salsa!! I did work today... Actually opened up a new account..My coworker just happened to be in my area today, and was by Chevys...Gee that was a coincidence wasn't it???

San Francisco was so foggy and cold today...I thought it was winter..Until I went to Sausilito and remembered it was still summer. As I was in Sausilito today I saw the perfect place to have my own spa. It was directly facing San Francisco and it is for lease. I can only imagine the price to lease it...aaahhhh, but I was dreaming for a little while at least... It was great, it was a two story building with big windows for spectacular viewage..It was a couple of blocks down from the major touristy spot, but not so out of the way that tourists couldn't find it if they were in need of a spa day...It was great...Then I woke up and continued driving....

In other news....I vowed and declared I would never ever set foot in another baby shower with psycho women cooing and doing fucked up baby shower games ever ever again..HoWeVeR.....One of my real good friends (who I haven't seen in ages) just emailed me tonight telling me she is pregnant....And is having a baby shower in Oct....And our other close friend will also be there (again who I haven't seen in ages, as she now lives in San Diego). So I am actually considering this fate worse than death just so I can see them again....Am I Insane????? I do know how I hate Hate HAte HATe HATE baby showers with a passion....But they are both real good friends that I feel I must try and stiffle hateful angry feelings of baby showers, and go.....I will definitely have to give this more deep thought.....As if I do end up going...I will have to spend the next month decompressing from this baby gig......As you can see baby things is to me what Kryptonite is to Super man.....

Monday, August 23, 2004

If You Want Me to Rant..You Better At Least Listen

I actually went climbing tonight!! YIPEEE!! It has been a month since I last climbed, and I thought I was gonna really suck at it tonight, but I wasn't that bad!! I of course didn't do anything to hard, as I didn't want to wake up in traction tomorrow. But I was quite proud of myself. Damn., does this mean I should start eating good again, now that I am pulling my fat ass up the wall again..

My day started out shitty this morning, as I had my conference call with my boss, and she was in one of those moods...And what I really hate is when she asks a question, and doesn't listen for the answer...So I am talking away and then she says something in mid sentence...And I'm like what?? Oh, she says, I am just reading this email...WTF!! If you ask me a question that makes me go into a rant...Please stop me... Don't just let me rant away and you drift away into the unconscious zone...And then interrupt my rant with an email that you are reading...It is highly annoying, not to mention rude, that you let me rant on and you are not even paying attention to my rant....

But my day turned out to be ok. And I did speak to my bipolar boss later in the day, and she was back to being in a good mood....It's really hard trying to figure out someone who is bipolar, as you never know what you are going to encounter on the phone or inperson...

Oh yeah, then on my way home from work, I stopped off at my coworkers house to see what she was up to...watering her lawn...So we sat on her patio and had chips and salsa, unfortunately, no margaritas as I had to drive home, in long ass traffic..So we had diet coke instead..But we ended up deciding she needed to tear down her ceiling in her home office.. So we got out hammers and cro-bars and started hacking away at her ceiling...it was great getting your frustrations out on a ceiling...Until we uncovered mouse poo..Ok, gotta go...Not into mouse poo or rat pooo or any kind a poo that is coming down out of the ceiling...But she had invited some of her neighbors over to share in the bashing in ceiling fest, so I was ok to leave, as I had to meet up with Satan to go climbing..

So that was my day kids. Pretty uneventful..And wow just think there are four more of those days ahead before the weekend of ghost hunting, Cure viewage, and other mishaps Liz and I can get up to!!

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Young Lust

Young Lust
you feel it in the summertime blues
oh easy when there's nothin' to lose
and baby you been missin' out
Young Lust
Sometimes you need it so bad
it's enough to drive a young girl mad
so what you gonna do about it
____Steven Tyler____

I hit my forehead on the shelf above the garbage can. I now have a lump inbetween my wrinkles on my forehead. It feels rather funny. You know how those cromagnon men have their foreheads...That is how mine feels at the moment...And I did this about 6 hours ago....Does that mean I could have a concussion, and shouldn't fall asleep for 24 hours....

Well what the impact did besides jiggle my already deteriorating brain, it also got me thinking about my younger years...Before the wrinkles had appeared...Back when Mangey and I roamed the clubs all around the streets of San Francisco...I also think Mangey's latest blog, re: her warrior body reminded me also of those times.......

so here is one story of many.about my first love (turned out to be lust) and how I became a vampyre. My first lust was a glam boy in a glam band that played all the clubs...He was hot, young thin, legs for days, not to mention wild long blonde hair.....Anyways, I always fell for lead guitarists, Mangey was the lead singer kind, but there is something about a boy and a guitar...Back then I had big hair, big 80's teased to the rafters black hair...I was always front row for the glam boys shows, always making sure everyone knew he was mine.......Or was he......???????

Yes, he was a two timing fuck head,,,however I knew I would win in the end, he had a girlfriend, before me, however I found out at one of his shows. He forgot to realize that we were both going to be at this one show, he usually kept girlfriend at home when I was around.......So you see at this show he was having to do some pretty fast bimbo swapping so we wouldn't run into each other..And I was wondering why he was being so vague this particular evening. Well we said our goodbyes after the show was over, however he did not know that Mangey always drove back past the club before we left completely......Silly boy.....And as we are doing our driveby, what do I see.....But glam boy coming out of club with girlfriend in toe....And I had seen her earlier that evening...However I hadn't put two and two together.....Until now........So I am pissed...Livid...Fuming...Black mail thoughts running through my mind...Screaming for Vengeance(thanks Judas Priest) I was...And I was going to get it.....Even though this was prevampy days, you still don't want to cross a vampyre as payback is a bitch, when that bitch is me........

So she obviously didn't know about me, and instead of getting rid of him,(which I should have done) I wanted to get rid of her...And I did.....I started calling his house..When I knew he wasn't going to be there, and started leaving messages the kind you hope someone is listening too., she was. I would send him things in the mail, knowing she would see them..And oh yes she did.....So the fights started between them...heh heh heh..... And I finally got it out of him...Oh yeah I am good at making men confess their sins..... That he had a girlfriend, and she was pissed because she had heard my messages on his machine..And see the things I had mailed to him...Even though I had preplanned this, I acted like the innocent one...(which I am also good at) so I asked him what he was going to do about it...And he said "nothing, if she can't deal with it, then she can leave..." Well she didn't leave right away, she showed up at two more shows before she was finally gone...And you know I worked my prevampy charms on him at both of these shows that she was at.......She was no match for me....And gone she was after the second show.

But foolish young me, didn't realize once a two timing fuck head, always a two timing fuck head....We were together for about 2 years when I found out I was being cheated on...How many had there been in the two years we had been together, I will never know...But it did remind me of what comes around goes around, and I got mine like I had done to his ex....And he smashed my heart into pieces that made me feel like I was dead. And it was at this time that Vampyregirl rose from the ashes of the smashed heart, and my life as a vampyre began.....

Friday, August 20, 2004

Friday the 13th part II

Interesting how one revelation about George Michael on my last post can stir up a lot of comments.....More than the other revelations about myself...Interesting..Very interesting.....So I see I connect with more of you just on the fact that I listen to good old George.

Well lets see, if today was last week, it would be Friday the 13th, so I think I am a week off of my bad luck....Lets see what happened to me today.....I got a call from the Vice President of sales today (not America, I don't really think Chaney gives a rats ass about me, thats ok vein clogger boy, the feeling is mutual), asking me about an account that another account is complaining about,,,seems one is saying the other doesn't qualify to carry our stuff being that they are not a spa...tit for tat kinda stuff, but the V.P. attatched the message of the whimpering fool telling on said other spa...And is trying to put me in the middle of it...Yeah whatever fool, that was more just headache than real problem, which I fixed with a few phone calls.

However, I went and had lunch at Chevys with my hairstylist and when I am walking toward my car what do I see......My back right tire is completely flat!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So I limp my car over to the gas station for further examination of tire...And try to put more air in it...But what do I hear but ..ppppssssssssstttttt...The air is going out as fast as it is coming in. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK,FUCK, FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't need this today...So I call Satan...Where you at?? Luckily he is only about 5 miles away from me on an install, so I ask him if he will change my tire to the bicycle one that is the spare in my car( why do they do this the car dealerships, when we pay so much for fuckin cars anyway, and they give us a bicycle tire as a spare!!) He of course says yes, as he loves to do manly type chores....So me and car limp over to the job site he is at, and he and his "rain man" helper put the spare on for me...

So I drive the speed limit to Big O Tires to have them fix the flat (as this is where I get my tires done anyway, and they replace the flats for free), however of course, today they aren't into fixing free items, so I had to drop off deflated tire and have to go back tomorrow to get it put back on, rotated and probably oil change while I am there!! Motherfuckersonofabitch! Figures now I will have to spend my Saturday at a fucking Big O Tire place.......

Anyway, by now I have had to cancel an appointment I had with a potential client to take care of bicycle tire car...But did reschedule for next week..But so inconvenient, when I could have seen her today and probably opened a new account. Motherfuckersonofabitch...Figures!

Oh yes, so as I am hobbling home in my bicycle built for 5, I see that about 6 miles away from my house is a lovely fire a blazing away. Thats all I need now is to have to deal with gathering up the kids, and anything else I think is remotely valuable and hitail-ing it outa here in my jalopy! But I don't believe it will come to that (hopefully) as I don't see any smoke from my house....I can smell it though...Either that or someone around here is havin one great big bbq!

Welcome to my nightmare....I hope ya gonna like it........................

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

10 Things about a Vampyre

10 things you never knew about Vampyregirl and probably never needed to know(ok Mangey you probably know):

10. I have two older sisters who are complete opposites, Night and day, yin and yang, black and white, negative and positive, ,,yeah you get the picture...I will let you guess which one is Mangey...

9. I have had 20 different employers since I started working at 17, and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

8. I have had my heart broken 8 times. 5 of them have been animals. 2 have been men. One was my mother.

7. I don't trust most people. Hence my paranoia

6. I have an addiction to eating. Especially chocolate. If chocolate was a drug, I would be high 90% of the time.

5. I am obsessed with my weight. Always have been. but I have never been anorexic, just obsessed with wanting to look more fit and muscular.

4. I have lived in 13 different houses in my life, and will probably move countless more times before I feel like I have settled down.

3. I knew Satan technically for 1 month before we got engaged, 5 months before we got married, and I will have known him for 12 years next month

2. The First car I had as a teenager was my dads green pick up truck. I was embarrassed to drive it to school, until I found out it was a great way to get high school boys to talk to you. It may still work, I just haven't cruised any high schools in a green pick up in awhile..

1. One of my guilty pleasures is to listen to George Michael cranked up in my car as I drive. And you thought I only listened to Goth music....

The Insane Asylum that is Me

There are some days when I just feel like kicking ass. Any ass. (maybe not dog ass, as they are my sweet babies) And today is one of them. I woke up in a really bad mood. I even was getting mad at myself during my workout this morning...And a workout is supposed to be uplifting...Not this morning...

I was supposed to drive to Pleasanton today to attend a class. Just the name of the town "pleasant" is enough to make me wanna hurl today..Anyway, I emailed my boss, saying I couldn't make it, do to a "migrane" and I was going back to bed. I didn't want to tell her that her employee is insane and I am having one of my fits. And it is better that I be left by myself today so that no one gets hurt.

I have taken my mood swing meds, so hopefully soon, I will be feeling normal. Does anybody remember that Bugs Bunny episode where he is "dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde" , and he is in his laboratory and takes the potion, then he starts turning into Hyde? Well that is how I feel today. Right down to the bunny ears and big feet.

I am just glad I am having my fit now, and not next month, as my inlaws are coming to stay with us the whole month of September. And don't get me wrong, I have great inlaws, which I am thankful for, however the way I am feeling right now, I would be tearing their heads off and shitting down their necks about now.....And people wonder why I don't have kids........

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

I'm Not Gonna Take it....NO I'm Not Gonna Take It...Anymore!!!!!

I had an appointment today with a new account, and she was very very organized! She had a business plan put together, she was working with a business planning consultant, and just had her shit together. It made me so want to start my business now!! We went to her new place to view the size of her spa room to make sure it was the right size that she was supposed to have. And it was just a cool little space she was renting...it soo had potential, it was in an old building with a couple of different stair cases going up, wood flooring, her space looked out over the street, so she had a cool view and everything. It made me really want my own business. On the way home I am thinking, I should really start my business plan, and really start looking into getting my shit together and start this business.

So I get home, check the mail, and see that there is an envelope from my company.....So of course when I get in, I open it, and it is a copy of my review that I had the other week with my boss. I SWEAR she had changed stuff. As now where I was overall meeting standard, she has scratched that out, and put needs improvement....WHAT THE FUCK????? I don't believe she can do this, but of course she didn't have a copy for me when I signed it, and now the copy I have has a scribble where she did have meets standards, with a circle around needs improvement...Normally I would be really really pissed off...Especially as I have been having my anxiety lately...But instead I feel a little irritated. And more determined now to really start looking into getting my shit together.

Looking more into my review, she fails to make other corrections on it, so everything is checking out that I am meeting standards, but the last page is where it says overall performance....And that is where she has scribbled out the meets and x'd in needs. I am just kinda flabbergasted for lack of a better word. What meds did she forget to take before sending me my copy.....And did she really think I wouldn't notice this.....

I think meeting with this new account today was a sign....I really do....What am I waiting for....Am I waiting for someone to really send me over the edge before I do something.......Which is what usually needs to happen. So before I go over the edge per usual, I will start researching more into opening my own place..So I am off to write a business plan and see where that leads me too......

Satan: A Photo Essay

Satan meditating...we actually were on a river raft trip...the one and only time I have ever been camping! I am not the camping sort, the bathroom issue, the bugs, the sleeping on the floor, not for me, but Satan is a camping man...! Posted by Hello

ok, another climbing photo.....I have to stagger the makeup up ones with the action shots...Look at that form, that grace...that ass! Posted by Hello

Here is Satan...of the 80's....he was I believe 17 or 18 here...Love those boots.... Posted by Hello

and here is Satan climbing...will this even show up, will it be like where's waldo...instead where's Satan..... Posted by Hello

Here is the first photo of Satan with makeup. He wanted that Motley Crue Theater of Pain makeup look here. Posted by Hello

Monday, August 16, 2004

I've Been Looking So Long at these Pictures Of Satan....

Wouldn't ya just know it, I was gonna post some photos, as I have nothing really to say, its been an office day here in vampyworld....Anyway....I finally get Satan to agree to letting me publish his old glam days photos, and the Rocky Horror show one, plus the one I took of him after I did a girlie makeover on him.....The only trade off is that I will have to also publish his climbing photos along side his glamour shots.....Anyway...I am now having technical difficulties, and my scanner won't scan at a decent size, it could be that I am just too stupid to realize how to scan them in correctly, I have done it before, but I do believe I am brain dead.

Anyway the photos are coming out very small....(kinda like grandmothers shrunken head.....) so the world will have to wait for the debut of Satan glam photos....I also got the go ahead from Mangey to publish some photos of her, and they are also coming out very very small......

Where is that Hi tech baby Jen when you need her???

So in other news...speaking of Satan, he is watching the Olympics and was just hooping and hollering through in the living room as an english guy was actually winning in swimming at the butterfly.....only to be let down that it was only a qualifing round..and he didn't get gold...He was rather excited that some british person won a silver medal today...don't know which one, didn't care, they got a medal so Satan was most happy.......

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Conversations with Grandmother

Well, the Saturday with the family didn't go too bad....They arrived just before 1pm, and stayed till about 5:30pm...My grandmother looks like her head is shrinking.....Soon she will look like one of those people on an alien movie I saw, was it the one with Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones? I just can't remember, anyway, either that or my sister is buying her wigs too big for her tiny little shrunken head. Or they don't make wigs for shrunken heads....So there was this giant wig ( she likes the ones that Rachel Welsh makes, or indorse, but she swears Rachel makes them of course, oh dear lupie grandmother) sitting on top of this little frail woman...It was amusing...If you knew my grandmother you would understand....
Any way, here is some highlights of the conversations with my 90 year old gran:

Gran: Are those skulls you have in here love? (pointing to the skulls on the mantel piece)
Me: yes nana they are.
Gran: oh...Why do you have skulls dear?
Me: some people collect porcelain cats...We collect skulls..
Gran: Oh.........
Gran: Is that a skull hanging up there love?
Me: yes, Nana it is a dragon skull.....
Gran: oh...Why do you have skulls dear?
Me: We like hunting nana...
Gran: oh....
Gran: Is that a skull over there? (points to one on the kitchen counter)
Me: yes nana it is
Gran: why do you have skulls love?
Me: That was last night's dinner nana, and we liked his head
Gran: Really love?

Later on the conversation with Satan and Gran:
Gran:(she is outside on the deck looking at the lights we have up) how many lights do you think you have up here love?
Satan: Oh about 100....
Gran: Really love....That must have taken an awfully long time to put them up..
Satan: no not too long...
20 minutes goes by...
Gran: How many lights do you think you have up there love?
Satan: oh about 250....
Gran: really love, that must take an awful long time to put them up..
Satan: emmm, not too long
another 20 minutes goes by
GRan: How many lights do you think you have up there love?
Satan: oh about 500....
Gran: Really love, that took you along time to put those up!
Satan: yeah, it took nearly all day....
Gran: really?

Grandmother looking at our house (she has been here 3 times)
Gran: You really have done a super job with the house love.
Me; Thanks Nana
Gran: It looks so much bigger now ( maybe cuz her head is shrinking)
Me: yeah, it does make a difference with the wood floor in here rather than the carpet...
Gran: you had carpet in here?
Me: yes, remember, it was like what is in the bedroom...
Gran: oh yes that's right...
15 minutes later
Gran: It looks so much bigger in here now...
Me: yes, having the new windows in here gives it the bigger feel.
Gran: those windows weren't there?
Me;no remember, it was just a wall....We took the wall down and put up the windows ...
Gran: oh yes, that's right,,,,
another 15 minutes...
Gran: It looks so much bigger in here now....
Me: yes, we rearranged the furniture,
Gran: that's what it is love........

So you can see, you can keep a conversation flowing if you just keep changing your answers....And Nana will just keep asking those questions till you come up with the answer she likes best!

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Evil Spawn, Chapter One

Satan and I got up extra early (for us) this morning at 7:30 am to get the house ready for my older sis and family (not mangey, she is still in Arizona) to clean the house...And then at 9;45 am I get a call from her...Thinking she is a half hour away....Oh we are just leaving now, so we shouldn't be there any later than 1pm...So we could have slept in longer!!!! Figures......

So here I sit waiting for sibling and family to arrive and thought I would send a post. Well I can tell you a story about me, nearly releasing the evil on some children last night......

I am going to pick up Satan and I's Thai food that I ordered, so I am turning down the street to the Thai restaurant when 6 evil spawn (one on a bike) come running down the street. Their ages are probably from 3-6 at the most....So anyway they are scattered in very stages in the street running straight at my car. So being the good driver I am, I slow down and come to a stop as I am about to turn into the Thai parking lot, and I put on my turn signal, thinking maybe they would get a clue....Well the boy on the bike who looks like he is the oldest stops just short of the driveway and stares. Then the other children keep running but then stop like deer in the headlights again just shy of the driveway...But then this stupid girl keeps running...Hands over head laughing and squealing....And then stops.....In the middle of the driveway. And just stares at me.....Ok, I want my Thai food....And this stupid evil spawn is keeping me from it. So now I am thinking, how do you get a child to move....Do I honk the horn like she is an animal, as that usually works on them...Do I start yelling at her..But then are her parents close who will come out and yell at me...Or do I start to maneuver my car around her like she is a pylon in the road.. Well I gave her my death glare and made hand gestures for her to move....

She then just stares back like she is a zombie child....Then in an instant she runs back the other way, hands in the air and all of the evil spawn run (bike) back the way they came from.... Where are the parents, why do they let their six children play on a busy street, maybe the parents are trying to get rid of them and want someone else to do it for them...

Well I went and got my food, came back out and luckily they had moved on, they were nowhere to be seen...However I don't remember any speed bumps when I came in....But there were quite a few I felt when I pulled away................

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Fierce Auburn

I went to Sephora today. They had new fall collections out. Need I say more....So I found myself over by the Stila zone, and they have these cute little 3 in one eyeshadow pallettes called fierce femme. They come in these little notebook/wallet looking compacts! I so love little gimmicky things I can't believe it...Anyway, after the first viewing of them all, I first fell in lust with fierce plum as it is very purple/plum....Your typical Goth looking colors, however after playing with them on my hand, I realized, I can't do those color anymore, they don't make me look youthful and timeless as they used to 10-15 years ago, they just make me look old and haggard now...So I was depressed for about 15 seconds....

I then found fierce auburn, it still has that gothesque color to it, it just has more mahogany in it to be ok on an older Goth face.....So now my happiness is back as I have found the little stilla "femme" booklet that has all the colors of the fall season in it, with tips on how to achieve the different looks!.. My coworker bud decided she would have the fierce taupe which looked ab fab on her....Unfortunately I wasn't as excited with Stilla's new lipsticks. They only had three to choose from, and none of them excited me..The only one I was leaning toward was the amber color. However, again when applied to me, I looked old and haggard, too dark......Again, bummed as I used to pull this color off. Again, going back 10-15 years ago....

They do also have these interesting "smudge" pots that are shadow eye liners, however, most any eyeshadow would work, so I didn't fall into that gimmick at least.

The only other thing I purchased was L'Occitane's lavender liquid soap, as it is the best lavender soap I have found in a while as it is not so overpowering in the lavender fragrance, but is just nice enough while you are washing your hands...

So as you can see from my down day yesterday, a little makeup therapy and I am happy once again!!!!

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

The Wednesday Blues....

I have wasted today. Because I am so sluggish and bored, my previous post even bored myself when I read it back.......

I am supposed to be working, but I'm not, I'm not doing much of anything...Can't get myself to do anything.....I think this is a basement day...I'm just glad I am at home, otherwise it would be a trunk day if I was in my car, and that is rather scary to be in ones trunk while driving.....

However, I have news....Mangey cur just came out on her blog.....Its about time Mangey cur, its about time! We all knew your obsession, just glad to hear you finally admitted it....

Ok, well then, thanks for reading, if you have even gotten this far, as I am about to start snoring at this keyboard.......Help me...I need some excitement, some drama, something to do....AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I tried getting up and walking around the house and dancing with my dogs, that didn't even help....I lit some candles to get the energy flowing, that didn't help, just dripped wax all over the furniture......I don't even have the energy to eat food, now that is just plain wrong!! Ok, going now...Bye.....................

The Summer Sweat..where is the Summer Wind??

Walking the dogs this morning, in the 75 degree air, I started wishing for the autumn to arrive. I think that is my favorite season. I love the smell of autumn as well, its alot cleaner and crisper I guess. I used to hate that season, as it meant going back to school, but since being a working stiff now, its a year round gig, so that euphoria of summer vacation left after graduation in 1986. Welcome to the real world of work work and more work. EEEGADSS NOOOOO!

But I usually do my best home shopping during the fall season, as all the Halloween stuff starts coming out! This is the time Satan and I do are yearly redecorating of our house. Yes, you can imagine that it is Halloween 12 months out of the year here. However, we do not purchase the crappy tacky Halloween stuff, you really have to look for the good stuff, and it is that looking around for the good stuff that I enjoy so much!

I think this year instead of sending out the usual Christmas card that has come to be so tiresome, I will send everyone a Halloween (Samhain, Hallowmas, All Hallows' Eve, All Saint's Eve, Festival of the Dead, or the Third Festival of Harvest) card, and be done with the over the top Christmas holiday anyway. Christmas just isn't the same after the age of 13 I think anyway. And for my family and I Christmas just isn't the same anyway since the passing of our parents, as they were the ones that went out of their way to make Christmas so fun and enjoyable at our house growing up.

Well, guess I will get back to the here and now, as looking out my window Summer is still here, as it will probably be really hot again here today, so must go and close up the windows to trap in the cold air, as I can feel the heat coming through, ahhh the joys of sweating......I woke up this morning sweating form this heat......Why bother taking a shower.......As I will just start sweating again as soon as the water is off, however the stench of the sweat maybe a little to much, but hey, thats what perfume is for anyway!!

Monday, August 09, 2004


I realized this evening, I really am evil...And I am not too upset about it.

Watching one of Satan's TiVo selections (extreme makeover, home edition) and was ready to punch the TV. Sickly sweet people wanna make me vomit. The family they chose for this weeks episode were oh so wonderful, looking way to smarmy for words. I just wanted to beat them. And the design team on that show made me wanna blow chunks as well. Why do they have to come across as fucking dorks? They just seem way to fake as if they are saying "Look, America is falling for our crappy goody goody act". I wanna see them help someone out who really deserves it. Go into Oakland for gods sake and help out any number of individuals that have to live in crack alley, not by choice but because they can't afford to live anywhere else.. Or go to a trailer park and redo someone's trailer......Don't give me this lets film Joe "I think my family is wonderful" fuckhead, and Mrs. Joe "I'm pregnant with triplets" fuckhead, who live in a nice house in suburbia USA..... It makes me ill.....And the worst part is the end when the design team do their fake crocodile tears on how the families lives will be so much better now!

And why do you ask does Satan tape this crappy show, well being that he is into constructing things, he likes to see how they can rebuild a house in a week. Yeah that is the interesting part, and the houses they do rebuild are amazing, however I can do with out the sappiness of it all.

Reading this blog, you would think I was angry, no just evil. Plane and simple.

What would I rather watch....Let me see....Give me Eddie Izzard any day with his Babies On Spikes (ererererer- sounds of babies going on spikes) comedy special on HBO...It is actually called Dressed to Kill and it is fucking hilarious!

Jose Cuervo Stole My Brain

I think the alcohol from Saturday's drinking fest, has killed off some brain cells that I definitely needed. I feel stupider than usual today. I can't spell, well I never am good at that, but today it's even worse! And the conference call I had this morning with our region and our manager I was just out of it. I didn't have much to say, didn't feel like contributing to the usual "yay this month is going to be great, we can make the numbers" bullshit that everyone else was partaking in. Oh well. WTF, I am just here doing time until I can get my own business up and running. Mangey cur seems to be having the same problemos with work too. Hope her day is better today.

So I think today, I need to redo my home office, as I think the energy in this room is stagnate and is not moving around, hence why I feel the way I do. So I will try some fung shui (Yeah, I know I spelled that wrong), today and see what happens! Wish me luck.. I would like to paint this office of mine too, as renter's white is just not doing it for me, especially as we bought this house three years ago.

I think Satan was a little jealous of the fun and mayhem Liz I got into this weekend. Last night he asks me, so did you miss me? And of course I said yes, but it was rather cute, as usually he doesn't ask, because usually when he goes away for his climbing weekends with his buds, I am just doing boring mundane stuff at home, like cleaning the house, grocery shopping, catching up on my magazine reading, etc... But this time as Liz was here, he felt like he missed out on something.. I think he too wanted to do the drunk photo session , as he loves having his picture taken. As Mangeycur would know, she used to be a photographer, and he loved being her model! Oh well, Satan, there is always a next time!

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Liz thinks she should post this on her dating website, what do you think???? Posted by Hello

Saturday, August 07, 2004

here is Liz at my house wasted, sitting on my kitchen counter. Posted by Hello

Friday, August 06, 2004

Real Men Love Susej

So, here I am at my desk working ( or not working) away and what pungent odor comes wafting up from underneath my desk....eau de dog fart!

Dog spelled backwards is God.
I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said "Real Men love Jesus."
Jesus spelled backwards is Susej(this could mean sausage if you say susej real fast) so that would mean that Dogs are really god, and everyone knows dogs love snausages, so Jesus is really a sausage but in dog language it is susej...and don't most women say that men are dogs....which brings me back to the Real Men love Jesus bumpersticker..........................

ok, I think the dog fart has done something with my brainage............

Toenail Clippers are .....EVIL

Everyone needs to go to the Mangey Cur blog and say hello to my sister. She just started her blog yesterday!

My 3 month review that I had on Wednesday went alright. There were three categories: Needs Improvement, Meets Standards, Exceeds Standards. Well, I met all standards, which is fine, as I don't need to exceed in this job, as I am not looking to become a workaholic manager. So just keep me at meeting standards, and I will be a happy vampyre. But my boss is still freaking out, she left all of us in our region this email saying it was unacceptable that no one was making there quota this week. But the tone of her email was like someone about to have a nervous breakdown........hmmmmmm, she is taking today off, could she be penciling in a nervous breakdown day??

Satan purchased a digital camera yesterday with all of his gift cards from best buy that he received on his bday. It was most amusing watching him walking around looking for things to take pictures of. It was like watching a little kid on Christmas with their new toy. He took two of me which were SOOOOO unflattering ( I was stuffing my face with chips), that I immediately made him figure out the delete function on the camera, and made note to self, do not eat in front of people with digital cameras. Anyway, his next subjects were of course the dogs, who were happy to pose for him. He has left on his camping trip, so I am sure there will be loads of pictures of Chris and nick climbing to view when he comes back. Boys and there toys.....

Our dog Ghost (she is the one wearing the hat) has a new phobia. She seems to think that our kitchen floor is a bottomless pit and is afraid to walk any farther into the kitchen than where her food bowl is. She stands to the side of the dog bowls and howls, and does her tippy toe dance.....When you try and get her farther into the kitchen over by the dishwasher, she runs in circles and high tales it out of the kitchen, through the living room, and runs into the bedroom and runs under the bed. So we were thinking, maybe her toenails need clipping, and that is why she is freaking out about walking on the tile. We then bribed her out from under the bed, and proceeded to clip her toenails. This of course is another long process as, just like having a bath, she hates having her toenails clipped. Satan had to end up sitting on her as I quickly clipped her toenails, the labradors had to be banished to the other room with the door closed while this mayhem happened in the living room, as one traumatized dog is all we can handle in a day, as Willow, our chocolate lab is terrified of toe nail clippers.... Of any kind. Just touching your feet will send her into a panic attack of wheezing and hyper ventilating...Oh the joys of having freaky children!

Thursday, August 05, 2004

The Batty Bird Woman

I think I have become a crazy bird lady. Every morning I go out and put out food on the bird table for the birds, and fill up the hummingbird feeders. Well, now the crazy birds have become codependent on me. I was late getting out to feeding them this morning, and the birds who eat at the bird table were lined up along the fence freaking out that their food wasn't there. I have ravens that come down to eat as well, and they were up in the oak tree just bitching me out today as I was late feeding them.

Now for my hummingbirds. Most people get a hummingbird coming to feed, well last year was the first year I put out a feeder, and one came down, then another showed up, then another,,,,, and now I have 5 feeders up gallon sized and there must be over 100 hummingbirds flying around feeding. My neighbor asked yesterday if we were feeding them speed or something... I have created sugar addicts. I don't put the red dye in the mix as I know that is not really good for them, so I don't know if that is the difference, as we have asked our neighbors how many hummingbirds do they get, and they have maybe 3 at the most., and they do put in the red dye. So I guess my house is the hook up for the hummingbird feeder juice!

Oh yes, and last night Satan and I went and sat out on our deck to watch the bats come out. Yes, we also have bats. We do have a bat box, however we haven't found the right place to hang it from, as it needs to be up high. But we do believe they live in the trees out back, as that is where they were flying out of last night. I think we saw about 20 bats, all different sizes, they were all heading south when they came out of the trees, so we are wondering where they were off to. A bat party? A rave? Although we didn't see them wearing any funky looking hats, so maybe not a rave, but they were all headed somewhere.

And lastly we also have two red tail hawks that come down and sit in our Walnut trees. They are beautiful. They used to nest in one of the old old trees we had at the bottom of our garden, but last winter we had really bad rains, and the old tree came a crashing down, which was sad, as the hawks have now had to find another nesting spot, but they still come and hang out in our garden.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

this is me at halloween on year. Or is it me heading out to go to work? Posted by Hello

here is Satan on the beach with one of our many snakes we have had! Posted by Hello

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

IBOEM (International Bitch Out Employee Month) Let the festivities begin!!

Well, I know I should be working, but blogging is just way more fun. My boss was a little bitchy yesterday on our conference call, and in speaking with my coworker, she was bitchy with her too. So I do believe yesterday was official boss bitch day. Also known as Monday. But Tuesday should be better, but I haven't really done any work, and tomorrow I am with my boss, so I can have a face to face bitch session, as I get my 3 month review. Oh Yah, can't wait for that!

But speaking with my sister this morning, who will be blogging soon as she will be getting a computer soon (yay!), she also had a bitch fest with her boss on Friday...What is going on? Did all the bosses of the world get together and decide that this is international bitch out your employee month?? Oooo can't wait for tomorrow, as I am helping out the cause by not working!! This should bring in big scores to my boss' bitch fest!

On a lighter note, glad that the photos of my girls made it on to this page, and they were well received! They enjoyed being guinea pigs for my little photo experiment. However, I think Satan is getting jealous now too, as I think he wants to be seen by the masses, so I will have to find a photo of him suitable for the blog zone...So watch for Satan coming soon to a blog near you!

Monday, August 02, 2004

my two other girls, the labs, were jealous that Ghost had her photo for all to see, so here is my precious, the black lab, and Willow my youngest the chocolate lab with the white sock! Posted by Hello

this is Ghost at Christmas, she likes wearing hats! Posted by Hello

Exercise, Makeup, and a brush with Madness

I actually exercised this morning! Yipee! As I have been sick for the last few weeks, I have slagged off the workouts, but it was really good this morning to feel healthy again. Tomorrow we are even going to try and go climbing again, which should be amusing, as I haven't been in so long it will be a challenge to get my ass up the wall!

I am supposed to be working right now, but needed to catch up on blogs first as I didn't check them all day yesterday. And do you think I was doing anything exciting....uh no, unless you count grocery shopping and cleaning the house exciting!

I purchased a new lipstick the other day from this awesome beauty store called Beauty Expo in San Rafael, it has every thing you can imagine, it is kind of like a Sephora for the lesser known products. They also have stationary and stuff, it was quite impressive, I think I spent 90 minutes in there just looking at everything, they have tons and tons of hair products, but the makeup area was pretty impressive as it wasn't name brands like what Sephora has. But they had Sebastian Trucco, Tigi, some stuff I never heard of, Jane Irdale, Bare Essentials... And the list goes on and on. They also had this interesting body wash/scrub that was like ice cream, and they ( the staff) scoop it out of these huge tubs with ice cream cones. Probably just a gimmick, but of course, me and gimmicks, gotta love um, I bought the Vanilla snowcone flavor, it is a body scrub, and it smells just like cake batter! The scrub wasn't too bad, but the smell lasted awhile so it was most impressive as usually you don't get the scent lasting after you shower.

Watched 50 First Dates this weekend, it was quite funny. Still don't think that is really Drew's real hair. It has to be extensions, as everyone seems to be doing the extension thing. Paris Hilton's looked really bad the other day, I saw her and her sis on Oprah. What is this thing I have with watching Oprah lately? I think I am having too much time on my hands, hopefully that is it, and I am not turning into a middle aged house wife. HA! Ok that was funny, I think I will wake from that nightmare now!