Spoke with Mangey today regarding my current situation of soul searching. Her advice is always good. Even though she sometimes gives those bitter pills to swallow, the pill works, and I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole.
I opened up the book "Women Who Run With the Wolves" and let it find me a page. Interesting enough, I had put some cards in at the page it opened too....and what was the page it fell too...but the story of crescent moon bear. So here is a passage from the chapter that I thought how ironic....it is about rage:
"All emotion, even rage, carries knowledge, insight, what some call enlightenment. Our rage can, for a time, become teacher...a thing not to be rid of so fast, but rather something to climb the mountain for, something to personify via various images in order to learn from, deal with internally, then shape into something useful in the world as a result, or else let it go back down to dust. In a cohesive life, rage is not a stand-alone item. It is a substance waiting for our transformative efforts. The cycle of rage is like any other cycle: it rises, falls,dies, and is released as new energy. Attention to the matter of rage begins the process of transformation. Allowing oneself to be taught by one's rage, therby transforming it, disperses it. Ones energy returns to use in other areas especially the area of creativity. "
So down the rabbit hole I go, and it is dark, and damp and smelly...Here is my one and only match I strike...And I see the mountain looming up ahead....Its gonna be a long and raging climb.........