Before I leave for the weekend, thought I would tell the story of the granny panty theif.
Lately, I have noticed that my comfortable underwear are starting to dissappear..they are not granny panties, they are normal comfortable Victoria Secret undies. However, Satan says they are granny panties, as they cover my whole ass, unlike the thong undies that I also have.
Satan of course likes me to wear the thong undies, all the time, however, I do find them uncomfortable if I wear them all day. I usually only wear them during the day, hence for not having any unslightly panty lines when I am at work..in fear that Trinny and Suzanah (what not to wear, bbcamerica) are gonna jump out at me somewhere and point out that my "granny Panties" make me look like I have 2 extra ass cheeks.
So before going to bed, I change into comfortable undies....why do I wear undies to bed do you ask? Well if I don't, Satan thinks it is an automatic invitation from me to be pinched, pulled, proded, etc., etc... and yes, I do enjoy those things, but not every single night!! So if I wear the "granny panties" it is obviously not such a turn on for Satan, and I can actually get some sleep.
However, lately I have noticed him going out to do the laundry a little more lately..and I haven't really put two and two together, just thought he was being ever so nice and actually doing some chores...but since his laundry days, I have noticed I am slowly losing my "granny panties". and the only ones coming back are the thongs......
So, today, I am searching and searching for my comfy undies to pack for my trip this weekend, and can't find any in my drawer....so I say to Satan, are you stealing my granny panties and throwing them away?? Usually when I accuse him of stealing my socks (as I usually get back a sock when I have put two in the wash), he says, why the fuck would I take your socks when I have oodles of my own..(he really does, I have never seen someone with so many socks before) but this time, he just let out a low evil chuckle....and had this evil grin on his face!! Damn it man! I knew there was something going on with my undies!!
Well foolish Satan, doesn't realize stealing ones undies and throwing them out only means that this weekend is an open invitation for me to go out and spend spend spend money on new comfy undies!!!! Satan, you maybe crafty and oh so evil, but you mess with my undies man, and you will pay (literally) pay for new ones!!