Saturday, August 14, 2004

Evil Spawn, Chapter One

Satan and I got up extra early (for us) this morning at 7:30 am to get the house ready for my older sis and family (not mangey, she is still in Arizona) to clean the house...And then at 9;45 am I get a call from her...Thinking she is a half hour away....Oh we are just leaving now, so we shouldn't be there any later than 1pm...So we could have slept in longer!!!! Figures......

So here I sit waiting for sibling and family to arrive and thought I would send a post. Well I can tell you a story about me, nearly releasing the evil on some children last night......

I am going to pick up Satan and I's Thai food that I ordered, so I am turning down the street to the Thai restaurant when 6 evil spawn (one on a bike) come running down the street. Their ages are probably from 3-6 at the most....So anyway they are scattered in very stages in the street running straight at my car. So being the good driver I am, I slow down and come to a stop as I am about to turn into the Thai parking lot, and I put on my turn signal, thinking maybe they would get a clue....Well the boy on the bike who looks like he is the oldest stops just short of the driveway and stares. Then the other children keep running but then stop like deer in the headlights again just shy of the driveway...But then this stupid girl keeps running...Hands over head laughing and squealing....And then stops.....In the middle of the driveway. And just stares at me.....Ok, I want my Thai food....And this stupid evil spawn is keeping me from it. So now I am thinking, how do you get a child to move....Do I honk the horn like she is an animal, as that usually works on them...Do I start yelling at her..But then are her parents close who will come out and yell at me...Or do I start to maneuver my car around her like she is a pylon in the road.. Well I gave her my death glare and made hand gestures for her to move....

She then just stares back like she is a zombie child....Then in an instant she runs back the other way, hands in the air and all of the evil spawn run (bike) back the way they came from.... Where are the parents, why do they let their six children play on a busy street, maybe the parents are trying to get rid of them and want someone else to do it for them...

Well I went and got my food, came back out and luckily they had moved on, they were nowhere to be seen...However I don't remember any speed bumps when I came in....But there were quite a few I felt when I pulled away................


15 comments:

Special K said...

Ah! The same EXACT thing happened to me yesterday near the library when I went to return some books and DVDs. I wanted to mow the little suckers down, but they would've scratched my car. Again, no parents in sight. Ridiculous.

And I LOVE Thai food! Whadja get??

mangey cur said...

Harharhar! Those darned speed bumps! Figures Joan and clan are making you adhere to HER scheduale. Still feeling jealous. At least they'll either leave nearly as soon as they arrive or they'll stay till tomarrow. EEK! You cleaned the house? You should've saved it for Grandmother...

Elizabeth said...

I did settle on the RT pizza - and of course ate the whole fucking thing.

But now I have a goal to reach by the NG party - so I'll be shopping today for good food....

Phillip said...

vampyregirl you need to start thinking of pedestrians in terms of their point value... you'll get places quicker, i promise.

vampyregirl said...

thanks for the advice phizz, as I would have seriously racked up some points yesterday...

special k, I had the bean thread chicken salad, and prawn rolls, Satan had the Mus s mun chicken currey with rice...it was good...feel like having more tonight...must be good and avoid thai place....

liz, I take it the RT pizza was good...if you ate the whole thing...we must have some when I come down for the Cure!!

Mangey...yeah, I cleaned, but at least I can cross that off for tomorrow! I think Grandmother's head is shrinking as her wig looked extra large on her head today...."yes love, my head is shrinking!"

Pisser said...

NO ONE gets between me and my food...!

I did not know you were Mrs. Satan! How adorable!

Sheesh. Someone should smack those kids some manners.
Although adults in LA have little respect for cars.
Then you mow them down, and it's YOUR fault... These
morons need to be taken out of the gene pool!

nongirlfriend said...

Well said, Pisser. Don't you just hate kids? Well, maybe not hate, but I do wish they would go away when I go shopping, go out to eat, go anywhere.

And every parent thinks their child(ren) are the most precious. Even the ugly and bratty ones. Especially the ugly and bratty ones. Ugly can't be helped, but bratty? Please. All my parents had to do to make me mind (until I was a hormonal teen) was give me The Look.

Jennifer said...

Ooooooooooooh... maybe I shouldn't go to this NGF party, eeek! All this evil spawn hatred, I might get jumped or something. heh.

So I went to Sephora today... and there was TOO much to see, I had to leave. I can't go to places like that... too much to choose from and everything looks the same to me!! Oh well, I tried.

Elizabeth said...

Jen - your daughter's too old to be considered evil spawn. She was never evil anyway - I can attest to that!

Shit, she's old enough to party down with the NGF posse!

vampyregirl said...

jen, next time you go to sephora let me know, and I will go with you, it won't be so scary then...maybe you can go with Liz and I when I am down for the Cure????

bunny said...

My opinion is, don't spawn if you can't manage your offspring. I'm not willing to sacrifice everything you have to sacrifice to rear wee ones, so no breeding for Bunny.

nongirlfriend said...

Naw, I don't really hate kids. Just the bratty ones.

Special K said...

I love children... they're delicious ;-)

mangey cur said...

It's the parents that suck. Wait, kids suck too.

miss macy said...

I actually read an article that said "Should Parents Become Big Brother?".....Hello, that's their job....what's more intrusive than an older sibling? That's right, A PARENT....sheesh...