Monday, August 09, 2004

976-EVIL

I realized this evening, I really am evil...And I am not too upset about it.

Watching one of Satan's TiVo selections (extreme makeover, home edition) and was ready to punch the TV. Sickly sweet people wanna make me vomit. The family they chose for this weeks episode were oh so wonderful, looking way to smarmy for words. I just wanted to beat them. And the design team on that show made me wanna blow chunks as well. Why do they have to come across as fucking dorks? They just seem way to fake as if they are saying "Look, America is falling for our crappy goody goody act". I wanna see them help someone out who really deserves it. Go into Oakland for gods sake and help out any number of individuals that have to live in crack alley, not by choice but because they can't afford to live anywhere else.. Or go to a trailer park and redo someone's trailer......Don't give me this lets film Joe "I think my family is wonderful" fuckhead, and Mrs. Joe "I'm pregnant with triplets" fuckhead, who live in a nice house in suburbia USA..... It makes me ill.....And the worst part is the end when the design team do their fake crocodile tears on how the families lives will be so much better now!

And why do you ask does Satan tape this crappy show, well being that he is into constructing things, he likes to see how they can rebuild a house in a week. Yeah that is the interesting part, and the houses they do rebuild are amazing, however I can do with out the sappiness of it all.

Reading this blog, you would think I was angry, no just evil. Plane and simple.

What would I rather watch....Let me see....Give me Eddie Izzard any day with his Babies On Spikes (ererererer- sounds of babies going on spikes) comedy special on HBO...It is actually called Dressed to Kill and it is fucking hilarious!

20 comments:

Jennifer said...

Ahahhaa... this is really funny. One, because you don't like evil spawn and this couple had two and three are on the way.... and two, because I actually know that guy Tom McCrory and his whole family.

They are a family of five kids who grew up in a one bedroom house in the Sunset district of San Francisco. The parents are from Ireland, the father really religious, the mother is really sweet, and all the kids are really awesome people. I was friends with Toms sister who now lives in Ireland.

They really are a great family. And they grew up with hardships, probably worse than mine or yours (of course, I don't know you're background).... but I can see why their "all american" looks could make you sick.

It's hard raising one child, let alone, FIVE!!! Just think... five evil spawn running around?

The Makeover team does make me sick though... do they REALLY care about these families or are they in it for the money, you have to wonder. I'm sure they put on the sappy faces for the camera!!

And they just finished filming a segment up in Santa Rosa with Ty, and the guy Randy they work with is my mom's electriction............. small world.

Carry on, you're evilness. ;)

Special K said...

I. LOVE. EDDIE. IZZARD. You may be evil, but you are fucking AWESOME! And I totally agree with you on the whole Extreme Makeover thing. In fact, most reality TV makes me want to throw things at the television. Big, sharp, lethal things.

Special K said...

Thank you for flying Church of England. Tea and cake, or death?

miss macy said...

not liking sappy things doesn't make you evil....i think people say they like it cause they think everyone does....

SJ said...

Eddie Izzard, yes, that HBO special was funny. If I'm about to start my period the Home Makeover show commercial makes me all weepy, so I never watch it. I mean, I have a friggin mortgage and kids and no one's giving me all new shit for my house. I guess I'm not evil. Just envious.

bunny said...

Everything on reality TV shows is so scripted and they cocoon people into these quaint little stereotypes - gag.

Ninsianna has a huge crush on Eddie Izzard and is similarly obsessed with Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Obsessed. She loves boys with makeup.

neko said...

"cake, please." "well, we're outta cake!" "so my choice is 'or death'?"

i'm similarly obsessed with eddie and hedwig. have you seen any of the other eddie shows? circle or glorious? all fabulous. d.t.k. is still my favorite.

vampyregirl said...

Jen- are you trying to make me feel bad now....cuz its NOT working! BUuuuHHHHHHAAAAAA!!!! (that was an evil laugh)

YAY Eddie Izzard fans unite!! Satan and I love him, and constantly use his jokes in our every day life! Cake or death...sorry out of cake....

Neko, we saw Eddie perform Circle live when he came round to SF a couple of years ago, I have both Dressed to Kill and Circle on DVD..we LOVE him!!

Ok, must dash off to work now! Ciao! (thats me on the mo-ped!)

nongirlfriend said...

Do those types of families really even exist anymore? I prefer my upbringing, which involved lots of cursing, food fights with my brother and being told the evils of alcohol.

Which I so obviously did NOT heed. I still like flinging my food...

Elizabeth said...

I cannot watch Extreme Makeover - much too sappy for me. And the "workers" are annoying. Including Ty - I didn't like him on Trading Spaces either. Probably one of the only "reality" shows I can't get into.

mangey cur said...

I think I just dumped my comment--an extended rant on reality tv. Just as well. Yes you are evil, but someone else related to us is worse...may have changed but I'm not sure.....and oh, that comment about Michael is on my blog about anal sex, if you're interested!

Pisser said...

Well, if you're evil, I'm evil, too.

If we're so evil, how come we take care of so many otherwise homeless critters...? Heh.

But yes, I wonder sometimes why we are so supportive about people having three and four and five kids - new lives that didn't necessarily HAVE to be made...when there are so many unloved and uncared for adult people in the world *sigh* No wonder there are so many psychos wandering around...self included. There are so few who have so much...and they really need MORE and nicer things, when so many have so little...?

*spit*

Elizabeth said...

Seriously, there should be a limit on how many evil spawn one person is allowed squeeze out.

vampyregirl said...

yes, I do agree with you pisser and liz....no one forced these people to have 5 evil spawn. So why should they have the oh how sad look at me please do something for me...I did see the extreme makeover where there was like 12 kids and both parents died, I did feel sorry for them, as they never asked to be born, let alone have their parents die so young, so that I totally thought that was cool what extreme makeover did for them, but these people that try and have pitty parties because they have soo many kids...do you know what birth control is?? There is your answer!

mangey cur said...

there should be a ban on children, period. No more reproducing should occur until some of us bastards die off and make some room, and stop destroying stuff for our "benefit." Down with children. Down with reproducing. Burn your uterus! Wait...that would hurt.

Jennifer said...

Nononono, I was not trying to make you feel bad, just make you realize that these reality shows could happen to ANYONE. I bet if it happen to you or one of your friends, you'd have a change of heart.

But I agree with everyone.... two kids per couple is PLENTY!! But we're only human and make mistakes and some people are just not into abortion and/or adoption.

On a somewhat same level, why don't we worry about the assholes on WELFARE who are just too damn lazy to get a job!!!

Leif M. Wright said...

Eddie Izzard RULES!!!

vampyregirl said...

Jen, I just don't think you see how evil I really am...but thats ok, and thank you for trying to get me into the light of goodness, but I've been in the darkness for far too long, and its nice and warm and dark in here...makes me sleepy, and I like that...but nice try...I do applaud you on it...I will give you an E for effort...and if any of my friends or family were on a reality show, I think they know that the evil will be released on them too!! " Release the evil" (Little Nicky, a great movie!)

Smiley said...

Nothing like shiny happy thoughts. They have actually done alot for underprivileged people.
But the sappiness makes me want to vomit also.

Elizabeth said...

Too funny...