Tuesday, December 14, 2004

We've Been Driving with Mrs. Brownstone......she won't leave us alone!!!

Before getting to Mangeyfest 2004, the trip started off weird....Our taxi was hijacked by a little old lady who was about 85 years old. Yes, Hijacked!

So, Liz and I call a cab at her place to take us to the airport, and we are outside waiting. The cab pulls up (on the other side of the street about a 1/2 block down) so we are standing there staring at the cab, uh, dude you see us here on the curb with our suitcases...Do ya think you could drive down here to us?? So finally, Mr. cabbie pulls down to us, and says (insert Ahpoo voice from the Simpsons) Are you ladies going to SFO?? Uh, no we just like standing curbside with our bags ya fuck!!

So we roll our bags over to the other side of the street (yah, he didn't pull around to us) and as we are walking over there Liz sees this old lady come out, and say, "Excuse me, but this is my cab, " and proceeds to open the door and sit inside. Uh, ok. But Ahpoo the cab driver is yelling at her that this is our cab and we need to get to the airport. She just sits there one hand on the back seat, the other on the door, this old lady ain't budging. " I just live around the corner, you need to drive me over there, and then you can take these ladies to the airport."

Ahpoo, then just smiles sheepishly at us and tells us to get in, realizing our cab has been hijacked and we won't be going to the airport right away......So Liz gets in the front, and I am in the back with the Hi jacker.

Upon closer look, the little old lady hijacker is dressed all in black and is wearing this plastic looking hat that is also black. Oh great I am thinking to myself, I just got into the cab with the Grim Reaper. (Do any of you watch HBO's Dead Like Me?) Ok, I am thinking just don't touch me, as that is what they do, when death comes a knocking...... "So" she says, "where are you ladies going?" "The Airport" I say, as I am trying to make little or no conversation with her, if you are the reaper, just take me now and cut out the small talk would ya? "Oh she says, well I am not feeling well, and I only live two blocks down this way, and once the cab driver drops me off, you can then get to the airport". Ok, whatever old lady grim.

So, we finally get to her apartment, and she gets out of the cab, looks at me and says "Bon Voyage!" Liz is now getting out of the front to get in the back with me, and as she is doing so, Old Lady Grim puts her hand on Liz' shoulder, " have a nice flight honey" she says to Liz.

OH MY GOD, SHE TOUCHED LIZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, of course, I'm thinking, I ain't gonna tell Liz my thoughts on this, as I am sure she will freak out!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say we made it back all in one piece, and Liz last time I spoke with her, is fine.....However, she may have enhanced the curse on Liz with toilets, as Mangeys toilet didn't look to good when we left........To be continued...........

10 comments:

Jennifer said...

Uhoh.. now she's going to be all paranoid!

Garrison Steelle said...

OH NO!!! Maybe you should start dividing up her things now ...

;)

-G

Jennifer said...

I'll take her new computer!!! And a few picture frames, maybe the livingroom table too! ;)

Pisser said...

So THAT'S where the Toilet Curse came from! :)

You don't touch The Holy Liz. Not unless she asks you to...! Crazy ol' bat. Oldsters, I swear. Can't live with 'em, can't beat 'em to death with their own cane...but they can beat you ;)

Elizabeth said...

Dude I was totally thinking the same thing when she touched me!

Ms Bees Knees said...

OLG (Old Lady Grim) sounds like a grab-bag full o'crazy. Like I said before, those seniors are a wily bunch. Just brimming with the evil.

Pisser said...

My mother suggested that maybe she was just lonely! Or maybe she wanted to steal Vampy's purty black clothes ;)

SJ said...

That was fucking hilarious! Thanks for the great laugh.

wowedout said...

that old lady had a lot of nerve.

Mr Wabbit said...

What do you mean you can't beat them to death with their own cane? I wasn't meant to do that?

You should've tried to get the cabbie to just drive all three of you to the airport, she could go home afterwards and would probably appreciate the trip.