Monday, December 26, 2005

The Bible Thumper, the Grinch, and the Looking Glass...................

By the looks of people today, I noticed the christmas spirit has gone far far away. Either that or the Grinch must of hung out with alot o peeps this year.

First off my bible thumping neighbor. I am on my 2nd dog walk of the day when I see her with her evil spawn in toe pulling in the trash cans (oh yes, she is about 4 months prego with 2nd evil spawn on the way) her dog comes running over to the fence to say hi to me and Leo, and their new puppy is dancing around by her feet. When I first saw her, I think she was trying not to make eye contact. Which is fine by me. However, because her dog came over to fence to say hi to Leo...her plan was foiled. So she is calling her dog to come over and has to look up at me....."oh, hi vampy. Did you have a good christmas?" " why yes I did thanks...... was yours good?" ( yes I am trying to be nice....) "mmmm hmmmm" (she says in the most annoyed response ever) and then she proceeds to pull dog away from fence and walk back towards her house......

Ok, whatevah......Satan says she was probably having one of those preggo moments where everything is shot to hell....hubby at work and she is having to deal with dog, puppy, evil spawn, and evil spawn on the way, as well as bring in garbage cans......

However do I feel sorry for her....uh no. She is the one who wanted more evil spawn, and a new puppy......

Next at the grocery store ( I always seem to have a merry time there) and nothing but bitter old people shopping......as well as that stupid fat white trash chick and her million and one kids I seemed to always run into........and the checker was a miserable old fuck as well.

Oh yeah, and the first signs of me getting old.....ok, maybe the second....as the first is the grey hairs on my head ( but I can cover those up with hair color).....I had to buy my first pair of reading glasses today. Yes GLASSES! Now for those of you who have had to wear glasses practically all your life, you probably think this is no biggie. However, I was always the one with the superior eye sight. The eye doctors were always amazed how great my eyesight was and would make me do all these impossible tests just to see how well I could see. I was better than 20/20 vision in fact. However, today I am not. And to make matters worse staring back at me through the mirror as I tried on Safeway reading glasses was none other than my mother. Just keep me away from the red lipstick and Neil Diamond music or the transformation will be complete......I will post photos of sad girl wearing reading glasses shortly.........

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