Monday, September 13, 2004

The Adventures of Stunt Nerd

I was chatting with Liz earlier this evening, and we were talking about how you tend to make that sound of air rushing out of your lungs and through your windpipe when you trip really hard.....and I suddenly had a flash going back at least 26 years of my friend flying through the air on her nerd bike, and crashing to the ground, not falling off, still holding on to the handle bars but crashing down hard on the seat. But not falling over....the sound she made of the air rushing out of her lungs, up threw her mouth and her head gear chattering as her head bobbled up and down from the force of the impact.....yes, the poor girl had to wear that "sixteen candles" head gear...not the full back jacket head gear, but ugly green velcro looking head gear...

She was a supreme nerd, and her death defying stunts on her nerd bike were priceless...however I couldn't help but laugh at her, laugh like I am about to pee laugh at her, laugh like I am crying my eyes out laugh at her...it was the funniest thing I had ever seen, and she was soo mad at me...she rode on ahead of me to school not speaking to me...she didn't cry, which is amazing as she hit that seat well hard to make the strongest of men break down and cry...but not a wimper out of stunt nerd, except of course for the sound of the wind escaping her mouth as she crashed down on her bike seat.

Stunt nerd didn't speak to me for at least a good 3 days after that..she still showed up at my house to ride to school with me, but didn't speak to me...maybe her head gear had clamped her mouth shut, and I thought she was pissed at me for laughing at her??

Stunt nerd also had a mean right hook, as I remember on the last day of 6th grade she punched this girl that had been teasing her all year square in the nose, blood flying everywhere down this chicks pristine white blouse.... and the look of sheer satisfaction on stunt nerds face, was something I will never forget...All hail Stunt Nerd!!

18 comments:

Anti-Domestic Violence and Abuse said...

I had a similaryly satisfying experience this weekend as I beat up someone who had enraged me...although I'm no stunt nerd.

As for the wind sound, I remember watching a TV show about poachers when I was a kid, and it showed a monkey being killed for its 'magical' properties. I remember the sounds of the monkey's last breaths, and you could actually see the life go out of his eyes. That sound still haunts me. Poor lil guy.

mangey cur said...

Most excellent evil vampy. Glad you're still a sadist, but that kinda runs in the family...

Jennifer said...

You TRUELY are eveeel!!! OMFG!! The whole time I kept thinking you were talking about a NERF Bike!!! All I keep picturing is this foamy type bike with wobbly tires...!!! Hahaha

Killy said...

Okay, we need Stunt Nerd pictures!

She's totally my new hero!

miss macy said...

Damn! Stunt Nerd rocks!! I laugh when people fall down too. But Stunt Nerd sounds like a cool chick....it's like she stood up for the nerd in all of us...Okay, I can't be the only one out there!! Minus the headgear...I mean c'mon...what do you take me for??

Anonymous said...

Stnut nerd. That's classic!

—kenn: www.badinfluence.com

Elizabeth said...

I am trying so hard right now to contain myself here at work - but my eyes are brimming with laughter tears. I still have that vivid picture you created for me in my head - the body coming off the bike, her hair flying up, and then everything coming back down and landing in place. And the sound.....

Yes, she could be an attraction at the Santuary....

Elizabeth said...

Ok, I was just explaining the hilarity to Jen on the phone - and I was laughing so hard...now all my eyeliner has run off my left eye!!!! Damn it!

Jennifer said...

Yes, I can vouch for that, she was laughing real hard but I couldn't see her, so she could be lying about the eye liner. Me on the other hand couldn't laugh so hard, I guess you had to be there. Glad she wasn't on a NERF bike though!!!

Elizabeth said...

Fuck I am STILL giggling over that shit. I was just outside, laughing to myself like a crazy person... I swear to whomever I am so easily amused....

bunny said...

Stunt Nerd - the new blogosphere mascot!

missfee said...

oh man stunt nerd sounds kinds scary! def someone everyone shold have as a best friend! You could market stunt nerd... this years essential accessory...

Smiley said...

That is some funny shit I can actually picture it, but believe me it hurts a guy a hell of alot more to do that.
And I had one of those girls in the Frankentstein braces in my junior high. I think I was the only one who was nice to her. At our ten year reunion this totally hot chick comes up to me and says you were the only nice guy I remember. I had no clue it was her until she told me. The memories are rushing.

SJ said...

I wish we knew where stunt nerd was now.

missfee said...

hey girl, your sis in law lives in peterhead! no way, that's pretty close to hear, is she originally from there? you ever been??

Elizabeth said...

There is this super nerd in my office, and she was talking to me earlier and I started picturing her as Stund Nerd and I started laughing. But she thought I was laughing at what she was saying. But she doesn't have curly hair...

boabhan sith said...

My husband was a nerd and from what I've been told he was always doing crazy shit like that too. LOL...I was more of the dork crowd and I know I did crap like that. LOL...it's great to look back and remember.
http://boabhansith.blogspot.com/

Pisser said...

Flex - that is disgusting. I would like to beat the shit out of poachers.

With the Stunt Nerd.

I would love to have an animated film of The Stunt Nerd stunting. *wistful sigh*