Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Doll Parts

There are three things that I can think of that I have phobias of.
1. Clowns- they are scary and evil, I can't look at them, I can't be by one, just the sight of one on tv makes me get the willies
2. Rodents- I become a screaming, leaping on chair girly girl when one is around, again, I can't even look at them when they are on tv
3. Dolls- especially hideous porcelain dolls with the blinking eyes, but all dolls in general give me the heebie geebies, except for Barbie, I think because I can smack her to the floor and stomp on her plastic body that her plastic head shoots off, I am ok with this, but the bigger dolls, no thanks.

You can imagine my delight at when at school they tell us that before we go and start doing facials on human victims, we get to practice on doll heads! Big scary doll heads that the hair stylists use when they are learning how to cut hair.

So, here I am trying to do a facial on this freakin doll that keeps looking at me with its freaky plastic eyes, and its scary plastic smile is giving me the willies, so I have to look away. I am now doing a facial looking away from my doll. I have now mastered the blind mans facial! What's next, doing facials with my hands tied behind my back..that's the bondage facial I will be learning that next week!


19 comments:

Elizabeth said...

You are sooooooo a Hole fan - don't even try to deny it anymore!

Bondage facials....yup, I can see that...

And yes I have been witness to your freak out over scary, evil clowns. They are evil, so I don't blame you.

For the rodents - you would have loved my Meeka!!!

vampyregirl said...

liz, someday you will ache like I ache....(no not a hole fan, just like that song...whatever!)

mangey cur said...

Hole fan. Vampy hearts Courtney. I've seen it. hehehe...dude, why are you so afraid of molded plastic. This is a new phobia that I haven't heard you speak of before. The clown thing I still don't get, but you are you, so....lylys!!

vampyregirl said...

dude, you knew my phobia with dolls, I think it goes back to the dancearella or what ever that freakin doll was called that Joan had, that I wasn't allowed to play with, and then when I was holding it that one day..it started moving, and doing freaky things....

Killy said...

I'm with you on the creepy porcelain dolls. There's this shop downtown in my home town that has all these really disturbing looking porcelain "baby" dolls. I swear to god, one of them has RED EYES. I'm afraid it's going to eat my soul.

And clowns. HOLY SHIT! They totally freak me out. I can deal with the really happy ones who actually talk, but the ones that won't speak to you and/or the ones with scary evil faces really give me the wiggins. When I went to Busch Gardens last Friday they were just starting up their whole Halloween thing, and there's one part of the park where all these scary-ass clowns follow you around not saying anything. One snuck up behind me and honked it's little clown horn and I FLIPPED OUT and ran screaming away. Suave.

Killy said...

p.s. I'm afraid of WAY more stuff than that thought. Heights, small enclosed spaces, stinging insects, failure. Yeah, I'm a basket case ;)

Elizabeth said...

Killy - you're right, it WILL eat your soul!

Banilla's Honey said...

lol First of all my daughter can't even handle Ronald McDonald. She hates clowns, could have came from Steven Kings IT.

Second If I would have known ya more and knew you have the fear of doll I could have warned ya (other sis is in beauty school getting ready to graduate in a few weeks)(She made her doll look rather more evil with some of her wild ideas). I hope you don't have a fear of plastic hands because that's what you get to practice manicures and nail on. Maybe by the time you are done with school you will not have as big of a fear of them.

Good Luck & you can do it!!!!!

miss macy said...

just think of it like this.....that doll face is totally at your mercy...one false look and the dolly gets it!!

Raineydays said...

I hate Dolls!! I'm always scared that they are gonna walk around at night and giggle.:shudder:

As for clowns, who doesn't hate the scary mutha fuckers?!?

Jennifer said...

What the hell? Just strangle the plastic fuck face facial head if it tries anything on you. Make peace with the facial head! ha ha...

That was really funny... "looking away facial"!!!

When I was a kid, I had one of those vantrilquist dolls, that you pull the string in the back to make their mouth move. I spent the night at a cousin's one night and she had me so freaked out that it was going to come alive, that we had to leave it out in the hallway... under a blanket... and when I got home, he could no longer sit in my room like he used to, I had to keep him in the "playroom".... you and liz would like my cousin, she's always doing/saying evil things to me! :P

Smiley said...

Vampy wants to be the girl with the most cake! Here is a little therapy for your clown phobia. Rent "Shakes the Clown", with Bobcat Goldthwait. You'll laugh your ass off and hate mimes afterwards. I once dated a chica that had a clown fetish.

nongirlfriend said...

I hate clowns and dolls, too.

Except Barbies. I used to cut Skipper's hair off and make them have sex together.

I'd love to let a shrink get ahold of THAT one!

SJ said...

It's the dead, dead eyes on those freaky dolls, man. Heebeejeebee

Elizabeth said...

I used to lie awake at night, listening, waiting to hear by Barbie's come to life. This was after one of my school friends totally convinced me that she saw/heard her Barbie's come to life.

Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, they really DOOOOOO! But I do too....

mangey cur said...

jesus christo...you people are strange. It's plastic for &%$#@ sake!! And clowns...hello..regular person underneath makeup(maybe)...I must be a freak, as I've analysed this since reading this post last eve, and I can't come up with one single friggin phobia. Feelin sorta left out perhaps....but phobia free.

Killy said...

When I was but a wee little Killy I used to melt those plastic Barbies from Happy Meals with a magnifying glass. I would entertain myself for hours burning shit that way: leaves, sticks, toys, clothing, tried to burn my sister once but she wouldn't sit still.

bunny said...

But...I thought rodents were Goth?

Pisser said...

Smiley, Cranky's IN "Shakes the Clown". Freaky.

You should make the freaky doll-head Goth.

My ex's sister got one of those big-ass Barbie styling heads for her birthday - she brushed the hair once and the head fell off. BWHAHAHAHAHAH.

I much prefer stuffed animals. Can't you practice on a nice plush doggie? ;)