Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Devil's Candy

Was out with my coworker yesterday. Need I say more. Didn't shop too much, as I actually didn't buy anything yesterday...But on Sunday when we were on our way to our meeting, stopped off at Nordstrom and bought some cool boots, because they were there.

Anyway, yesterday was having another melt down re: bipolar woman, and was able to rant to coworker about her. Got it out of my system, and this morning I woke up and was very calm. Called bipolar and actually had a civil conversation with her, so getting the rant out of my system worked.

But on Sunday, my coworker and I headed down to the meeting early as it is 3 hours from my house, so we stayed the night at a hotel. So we would be at the meeting for Monday on time, as we are notoriously late when we are together. Anyway, we were up till like 2:30 in the morning laughing our asses off. About what? Well let me tell you.

The other week I was with my coworker and she was craving chocolate and stuff, she is on the South Beach Diet, so she wanted to know what she could have, so we stopped at Walgreens and picked up some low carb stuff, and some low carb jelly bellys. So she starts tearing into the jelly bellys like no tomorrow, and I'm looking at her like, you are gonna be sorry in a couple of hours that you at that whole bag. What do you mean she says, as she can't stop eating them. For all of you out there who have had the low carb jelly bellys, you know the mountain of poo that you do within the four hours after you have eaten them. She had no clue. Until she got home, and couldn't believe what came out of her. Mount Poo.

Anyway, we have renamed those Jelly Bellys, they are now called the Devils Candy, and what comes out of your ass is none other than Satan's Sauce. This is what we were up laughing about till 2:30 in the morning, and decided we were going to go and find some Devils candy, and bring it to the meeting, put it in a bowl, and put it in the center of the table, and watch bipolar and our other coworkers snark on the Devils candy and watch what happens at the fourth hour of the meeting. Heh Heh heh....... oh yes, my coworker is just as evil as I.

15 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Hm. I may be having jealous thoughts about coworker..laughing about shit stories!

I did speak with EB for an hour last night - he laughed at his presents. ;)

nongirlfriend said...

You two are hilarious! That ought to stir up the meeting a bit.

Killy said...

ACK! Evil, shit-inducing candy! Sound like a similar unfortunate incident at my workplace a few years ago. FatMary (my HUGE manager) had, unbeknownst to everyone else, brought a whole bunch of those olean fat-free potato chips and put them in bowls. So people started digging in, and about an hour later, the store was understaffed because EVERYONE WAS IN THE BATHROOM. Good thing I didn't have any chips...

Raineydays said...

That's just too funny.

Autumn said...

Yes!! Those are evil evil candies!! Anything sugar free is!!! Ooooh.. the gurgling.. it's aweful!!

nongirlfriend said...

Vampy, I have Pisser's party favor for you here...I'll send it back with Liz. It's adorable!

mangey cur said...

:P....<-presuming that means pouting...Maybe I want a party favor...grrr...maybe I want one that's cute....

mangey cur said...

Oh..and the gurgling...I somehow found it to be strangely pleasurable. I'm odd.

finijo said...

Your story made me laugh out loud, so I added your site as a link on mine. BTW, Kroger has a sugar free icecream (chocolate chunk) that will do unspeakable things to your insides in just an hour...in case you need something for an office party.
finijo

Killy said...

Seriously, Olean potato chips (those "Wow!" ones), people... weapon of choice. NOT a pleasurable experience!

Pisser said...

Oh my...MUST add this to my list of poo stories :))

Tell Mangey to invite me to AZ sometime, I'll bring muchos party favors! ;)

miss macy said...

i am never going near low carb jelly beans...

but you HAVE to do that for the meeting....

maybe i should send my ex-coworkers some of that as a "peace offering".....or anonymously...hmmmmm...

Anonymous said...

I came by way of Pisser's, who is on a mission to spread poo throughout the blogosphere, so hi there!

I can honestly say I've learned something today so this story should also be considered a public service announcement.

Kat

Garrison Steelle said...

I am beyond terrified. I'll never accept jelly beans from someone else again. ;)

-G

Christopher said...

Hello my sexy Morticia!
Please forgive this rather tardy comment. I want you to know that I do read you whenever I can, but when time is limited, I skip email and comments just so I can read what all of my demented friends are up to. I am glad that you STILL are up to no good, and that society is benefitting in a downswing from what it is you have to contribute and what it is I condone: MAYHEM AND MADNESS my grrl! Life is going good this end, my meds are treating me well and I am figuring life out as easily as I can. I send you many scratches and bloodclots...oh and some glitter too :)
xoxo
Kissyfur