Thursday, October 28, 2004
Don't Like This Ride I Am On Today...Can I Get off Of It Now?
4 days to go.....
Why is it that I will have a few good days and then I get this bummed out feeling come back? And I realized the other day that I have pretty much had this bummed feeling with me as long as I can remember.
I remember in grade school right through high school, I had it and thought it was just the feeling of teenage angst. But now that I am in my 30's I still have it. It usually comes on when I am by myself for long periods of time. Here I am having an office day today, and I have that bummed feeling again. I wouldn't call it depression, as I have been depressed, and it is definitely not that. Maybe it is boredom and I take it for bummed. Hmm...don't know...or maybe it is just that dark personality which is me.
Anyway, I hate feeling this way. There is no reason for me to be bummed today. I am home, the sun is out, I am here with my girls, but still the feeling doesn't go away. Mangey, are you like this? I seem to remember you feel this way when you are around people. Interesting.
It also could be that I haven't been out of this house all day as it has been to fucking cold to go outside. I think the high today is like 39 degrees. That is just plane wrong. Ok, well guess I will try and get out of this funk...maybe I will try and exercise...however, I am one big ache and pain today as I over exercised on Tuesday and yesterday Satan and I went climbing, so just breathing hurts today. Damn situps...why do we need them?
It is quite ironic, I just read the preview of my blog and looked at the photo I chose today for Manson....and how he looks in the photograph is basically how I am feeling right now....so just imagine that is me...but with more hair.....