Monday, September 05, 2005

Possessed By My Father

Tonight I think I really out did Satan on the swearing. Thats what happens when I spill my drink all over my desk......and I am trying to help him make up his brochures for his upcoming Sonoma Home Show. It was most amusing seeing Satan run around not knowing what to do as I was yelling my lungs out! MotherFuckerSonOfABitch! GodDamnIt! ForFucksSake!! And then he comes running in with a stream of paper towels, then runs out again, dodging the magazines, unpaid bills and other shit I was slinging off my desk!

However, I can't help this swearing. I believe I am possessed by my dad, and he would be ever so proud. Mum on the other hand would not be. Satan said I was swearing so loud he thinks our neighbors heard....and as we live out in the middle of nowhere, I must have been pretty loud.

So other than yelling at the top of my lungs over spilt water, I also have an aching back...(where is that Mangey when you need her most) from pulling weeds in my veggie patch this weekend. And can I just say how I hate those fuckin' squirrels who have totally eaten all the good veggies. They even ate my green peppers. Squirrels eating peppers. Is there such a thing? There must be. They have also eaten all of my cucumbers, and have started in on the strawberries. Fuckers. Who ever said squirrels were cute, must never have been a gardner.

And to make matters worse, one must of died under our deck, as we also had flies and the stench of a dead thang. Unless, I had an unexpected Vampyre visitor who had taken up residence over the weekend. Didn't he know he was welcome in the house? Maybe he too had had enough of my swearing!

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