Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Driving While Stupid

To the idiot drivers in front of me on my way to work:

Do you realize you are going 10 miles slower than the speed limit in the fast lane?
Do you realize I am behind you and want you to pull over?
Why must you apply your makeup in the rearview mirror at 60 miles an hour?
Why must you take out your brush, and brush your hair while driving?
Why must you read your newspaper?
Why are you driving with your knees?
Why are you still driving when you can't see over the steering wheel?
Are you the oldest man alive?
Have your legs been cut off at the knees and you can't step on the gas?
Are you swerving in the lane because you like to cause motion sickness, or because your drunk, or because you just spilled hot coffee on your lap?
Why must you slow down every time we pass an on ramp? You are in the fast lane you know.....
Why is it that when I pull around you and get back in the fast lane, I catch up with your idiot brother in the next car ahead of you?
Do you have me on hidden camera and know exactly when I will be leaving my house, so you can get infront of me at exactly the right time?
Why must you put "have you been saved yet" bumper stickers on your vehicle?
Do you think I need saving?
Will you ever use your rearview mirror?

These are just a few questions that go through my head, that I was wondering if you would be able to answer for me, as you seem to be going nowhere and have all the time on your hands!!!

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