I found out today just how heartless I really am. Does this shock me. Not really. Just confirms what I always knew.
My oldest sister called me today, saying that our Grandmother has gone insane. Insane by means of has sudden on set of Alsheimers....whatever you want to call it, she is insane. The other night my grandmother was hitting my sister for no reason, other than the fact, she didn't want to go to bed. She also has been saying she needs to go to the police because Joy is missing. Ok, my mum has been dead for 2 1/2 years, yeah nana, she is missing.
My sister tells me that Nana's mood swings are getting worse and worse and she is just angry and nasty, and misearble all the time. Oh yeah, Nana will be 92 years old in 4 months.
Now most people would be upset by this story. However, I'm not. But then again I am not like most people. And neither are my two sisters, as they are not upset either. Frustrated, yes, upset no.
You see my grandmother has been miserable all her life. She was evil to my mum when she was alive telling her half the time that she was fat (which she wasn't), she told her this as she was growing up as well, she would yell at Mangey and say her mean things to her and Rantboy. She has always treated me like I was 2 years old and breakable. To my oldest sister, she hasn't been that evil to that I know of, but now even she is getting the rath of Grandmother. Oh yeah, did I fail to mention that when my Grandfather was alive they would yell and shout at each other, and either end up beating each other up, or throwing things at each others heads. I remember as a child, my grandmother stayed with us because her back went out. This woman was so nasty, that even my father wouldn't come home until she was out of our house.
My memories of my Grandmother are not of sweet grandmothers baking pies and doing grandmotherly things....no my grandmother would shove money into our hands as away of being affectionate, and then hide us in the basement because her "friends" were over and didn't want her "friends" to see what losers her family were.
So when I hear she is going insane, and will probably be put on serious meds in the next day or two, and may even be committed somewhere.....I have no emotion.
If I do it is just a sadness of just hearing about another person fallen victim to this awful Alsheimers disease. But I am a big believer in Karma. And all the nasty, hateful things my grandmother did while she was young, is coming back to bite her on the ass in the biggest way.....
Monday, August 22, 2005
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